WEEKEND PIC (July 28 - 30)

(A guide to help you plan your cinema-going)

1. JASMINE WOMEN (Mandarin drama with Zhang Ziyi, Joan Chen and Jiang Wen) Rated * * * (out of 4): This movie, about how the women of three generations of a family cope with men and tragedy, is both rivetting and stylish. Zhang and Chen are at their best in multiple roles.

2. DRAGON TIGER GATE (Cantonese kungfu actioner with Donnie Yen, Nicholas Tse and Shawn Yue) Rated * * ½ (2.5 stars): If it is stylish kungfu you are looking for, this should fit the bill as its plot is just a hastily-concocted peg for all the action choreographed by Yen.

3. LADY IN THE WATER (A Shyamalan thriller with Paul Giamatti and Bryce Dallas Howard) Rated * * (2 stars): This is strictly for Shyamalan fans as the bedtime story, upon which the movie is based, is so full of plot holes that it leaks.

4. DORM (horror thriller with Charlie Trairat and Jintara Sukaphat) Rated: * * * (3 stars): This Thai horror offers enough thrills and chills – plus, a heartwarming story.

5. ROCK SCHOOL (documentary about the Paul Green School of Rock) Rated: * * 1/2 (2.5 stars): If you are a rocker, or aspire to play the guitar, you may find inspiration in this rockumentary that is even darker than Jack Black’s School Of Rock.

ROCK SCHOOL: Strictly for Rockers

ROCK SCHOOL (documentary)
Cast: Paul Green, C.J. Tywoniak, Will O’Connor, Madi Diaz Svalgard and Tucker and Asa Collins
Director: Don Argott
Time: 85 mins
Rating: * * ½ (out of 4)

PREAMBLE: If you don’t fancy blowing away ten bucks watching a documentary at the Cineplex, ask yourself these questions: Have you ever dreamed of becoming a rock star? Do you think Frank Zappa is one of God’s gifts to mankind? Do you think Satan or the Devil can be cool?
If your answer to all these is ‘Yes!’, then this ‘rockumentary’ is just the thing to inspire you and even get you on track to achieving your aims in music. However, if you had answered ‘no’ to anyone of these test questions, stay home with your Bach, Brahms and Beethoven. Trust me.

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? Since we are talking ‘rock music’, therefore, we are talking ‘ego’ and here, the Man is Paul Green who, admittedly, has the biggest ego in the universe. Paul had wanted to be a great rock musician. However, when that did not materialise, he started the Paul Green School Of Rock, an after-school programme in Philadelphia where he trains kids from nine to 18 to play rock music. Now, if you are thinking of Jack Black in School Of Rock, think again. Green is ‘blacker’ than Black. He uses the ‘F’-word incessantly, berates his students, worships Jethro Tull and Zappa, and even gets the kids to ‘play like the Devil’.
In Rock School, we are introduced to some of his students, like the 12-year-old guitar prodigy C.J. Tywoniak, nine-year-old twins Tucker and Asa Collins, the suicidal Will O’Connor and a Quaker named Madi Diaz Svalgard who has a weakness for Sheryl Crow’s songs.
Director Argott’s footage shows interviews with the kids, their parents, and with Zappa alma mater like Napoleon Murphy Brock and Jimmy Carl Black. We also catch some of their gigs like the Guitar Gods show and the climactic Zappanale Festival in Germany where C.J.’s riffs got the crowd on their knees.

HIGHLIGHTS: Some of the gigs are a pleasure to watch. If Paul looks confident and dynamic in the interviews, it is because he is an old hand at pandering to the media. Over the past two years, he has done interviews for CNN, The New York Times and countless mags all over the US.

LOWLIGHTS: Paul would like to have us think that, as a teacher, he is responsible for preparing the kids for stardom. However, most of what we see here are Paul exhorting the students with platitudes, foul language and hype. And he is damn good at it.

THE LOWDOWN: As a parent, I would not have any objection to children watching this documentary. However, I would advise parents to make sure they watch it with them – just so that they can dispel any negative impact the movie may have on impressionable youngsters.

LADY IN THE WATER: Shyam's Quest for his Muse

LADY IN THE WATER (thriller)
Cast: Paul Giamati, Bryce Dallas Howard, Bob Balaban, Jeffrey Wright & M. Night Shyamalan
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Time: 105 mins
Rating: * * (out of 4)

PREAMBLE: Somewhere in this Shyamalan tale, a film critic named Mr Farber (Bob Balaban) laments that there is no originality in the movies anymore – “only clichés and belaboured expositions”. But of course, having written in Balaban’s character (presumably to pre-empt negative reviews of this movie), surely Shyamalan is not about to give us ‘cliched’ and recycled stuff in his Lady In The Water? Good Heavens, no, but he sorely wants us to believe in him – both as a storyteller and as a Messiah who would ‘sacrifice himself to save the world’.

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? Indeed, we too want to believe in the ‘bedtime story’ that Shyamalan has concocted – that a ‘narf’ named Story (Bryce Dallas Howard, pictured) has come from her Blue World, risking attacks by grassy wolf-like creatures called Scrunts, to inspire a ‘Chosen One’ and then hurry back to her own world. Like every character in the movie who seems to believe in Story’s story unquestionably, we too want to go along with the Shyamalan flow.
However, instead of taking us to the customary Shyamalan twist at the end (like in his Sixth Sense, Unbreakable and Signs), we are offered ridiculous side-tracks to nowhere, and very little in terms of mystery or discovery. This is probably the first Shyamalan movie that tells the audience the whole story in the prologue…
Yes, animated cave-drawing figures in the opening credits explain that the Blue World, having been separated from the Human World, is trying to re-establish contact and to make us ‘listen’. The nymphs send their children (or narfs) to contact certain individuals to provide them with The Muse before returning home via ‘Air Eatlon’ (a Great Eagle, actually). One of these ‘narfs’ is Story who is discovered and rescued by Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamati), the caretaker of a suburban tenement building called The Cove.

HIGHLIGHTS: Now, the ‘wonder card’ is played. At first, Cleveland believes that he is The Chosen One and takes it upon himself to help facilitate Story’s return to her world. However, when he discovers that he is not the One, he seeks the help of his tenants, like Korean student Choi Young-soon (Cindy Cheung) and her mother; a writer (Shyamalan) and his sister (Sarita Choudhury) and the dour Mr Dury (Jeffrey Wright), to take part in the big send-off.

LOWLIGHTS: We don’t know how Cleveland had explained the situation to the other tenants, but none questioned his ‘relationship’ with the almost-naked mermaid-like girl he hides in his apartment, or even thought of calling the police. They just bought the whole story, including the Scrunts and Torturic (monkey-like characters who are the nemesis of the Scrunts) bits.

THE PLAYERS: Giamati is solid here as a battered soul with a tragic past, while the other members of the cast get by with minimal character development. Dallas Howard, as the title character who spends most of the time in the shower, could have been more of an ‘eye-candy’ but the camera mostly captures her legs (in skin-coloured bodysuit, presumably for that PG rating).
This is the first time Shyamalan has given himself a co-starring role (instead of walk-on cameos) and that turns out to be more of a distraction than characterisation. We are all given to believe that it is Shyamalan that the ‘narf’ has come to inspire – and that it is his ego that needs massaging.

THE LOWDOWN: Who knows, after reading the reviews for this movie, he would surely need the ego massage. Believe me.

YOUR WEEKEND PIC (July 21 - 23)

(A guide to help you plan your weekend cinema-going)

1. JASMINE WOMEN (Mandarin drama with Zhang Ziyi, Joan Chen and Jiang Wen) Rated * * * (out of 4): This movie, about how the women of three generations of a family cope with men and tragedy, is both rivetting and stylish. Zhang and Chen are at their best in multiple roles.

2. DORM (horror thriller with Charlie Trairat and Jintara Sukaphat) Rated: * * * (3 stars): This Thai horror offers enough thrills and chills – plus, a heartwarming story.

3. THE LAKE HOUSE (romantic comedy with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock) Rated: * * 1/2 (2.5 stars): The best part of this time-travel love story is the reunion of Reeves and Bullock since their blockbuster Speed. The plot is rather confusing and full of holes.

4. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST (Fantasy adventure with Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloon and Keira Knightley) Rated * * 1/2 (out of 4): Capt Jack is back in another rollercoaster thrill of a ride. Trouble is, the ride is too long and many of the thrills are repeated.

5. SUPERMAN RETURNS (Fantasy adventure with Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth and Kevin Spacey) Rated * * * (out of 4): The Man of Steel returns to Earth and he is saving mankind from Lex Luthor's evil and reclaiming the love of his old flame reporter Lois.

JASMINE WOMEN: Joy Luck for the Ladies

JASMINE WOMEN aka Mo Li Hua Kai (drama)
Cast: Zhang Ziyi, Joan Chen, Jiang Wen, Lu Yi and Liu Ye
Director: Hou Yong
Time: 128 mins
Rating: * * * (out of 4)

WHAT’S IT ABOUT? There is a Chinese belief that if a particular bad fortune or trait befalls a family over three generations, it would continue throughout all the following generations. This belief is explored in “Jasmine Women”, adapted from a novel by Su Tong, who also wrote the classic tale, Raise The Red Lantern.

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? The movie, made in 2004, is divided into three chapters, titled Grandmother, Mother and Daughter. The first opens in Shanghai of the 1930s where we find Mo (Zhang Ziyi) living alone with her mother in a photo studio which is their family business. Mo’s mom (Joan Chen) intends to pass on the business to Mo so that it can help support her family later on. However, this plan is derailed when Mo is picked by a film producer called Mr Meng (Wen Jiang of Warriors Of Heaven And Earth fame), to star in his movie. Mo finds her wildest dreams coming true – until the Japanese invade China and Meng scoots off to Hong Kong. Instead of achieving fame and happiness, Mo is pregnant and broke.
Chapter Two, which picks up 18 years later, finds Mo (now played by Chen) becoming a Mother to Li Li (Zhang again). In China of the Fifties, Li Li falls for the handsome Communist Party member Zou Jie (Lu Yi) and she deserts her mom to marry him. Again, tragedy befalls the young lovers, leaving Mo to fend for their adopted daughter, Hua.
Chapter Three is set in the 1980s and it deals with Hua (Zhang in her third role) marrying her fellow student Di (Liu Ye) and keeping it a secret from Grandma Mo. The old lady has objected to the union, seeing that Di is obviously unsuitable for Hua. Needless to say, Hua ends up pregnant and alone.

HIGHLIGHTS: This directorial debut by Hou Yong is not only a riveting family drama, it is also a work of art. Each chapter shows different façades of bustling Shanghai, and Hou Yong even gives it its own colour palate. Chapter One, for instance, is mainly vibrant green and lilac, Chapter Two is bathed in red to depict communism, and Chapter Three returns to natural green and orange. This has the effect of making scenes of blood (as in abortion, miscarriage and childbirth) stand out ever more strikingly.
However, it is obvious that Jasmine Women is the vehicle of Zhang and Chen and they are at their best here. Zhang manages to separate each of her three roles and gives each its own special characteristics, while Joan Chen tugs at our heart-strings every time she is onscreen. In fact, director Huo Yong seems so enamoured of the performances of his two superstars that he drags the footage to more than two hours.

LOWLIGHTS: The tale could have been told in about 110 minutes, leaving the viewers enough time to dry their eyes and, perhaps, hanker for more…

THE LOWDOWN: A must for mothers and daughters and the legions of Zhang Ziyi fans everywhere. (For booking details, check out cinemaonline.com.my)

LAKE HOUSE: Romance on Time Matrix

THE LAKE HOUSE (fantasy romance)
Cast: Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock and Christopher Plummer
Director: Alejandro Agresti
Time: 108 mins
Rating: * * ½ (out of 4)

WHAT’S IT ABOUT? It takes them 12 years -- and apparently lots of messages – but two of Hollywood’s most popular heartthrobs of the Nineties are reunited at last. I am talking about Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock of Speed fame. And if you are wondering why I am starting the review like this, it is because the two are separated in time in this whimsical love story that is fuelled only by their charm and box-office appeal.
When Dr Kate Forster (Bullock) moves out of her glass house over a lake near Chicago, she leaves a note to the next tenant requesting that her mail be forwarded to her new address. Alex (Reeves) gets the note and discovers something weird: No one has lived in that house for years! Then a dog suddenly appears and the two soon discover that they have been living in the same area -- two years apart. He is in 2004 and she is in 2006. They communicate via a mailbox outside the Lake House which magically transmits their messages.

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? Now, I don’t know about you, but if I were caught in such a situation, I would have been scared out of my wits. I would want answers and I would search the archives and Internet for them. I would also expect the guy in 2004 to ask the gal in 2006 for stock market tips, etc. Kate and Alex, however, do no such thing. Instead, they revel in their newfound love for each other and she even seeks his help to find a lost book.

HIGHLIGHTS: There are nice distractions in the subplots, though. Christopher Plummer, who plays Alex’s old man, provides an explanatory background to Alex’s character while Willeke van Ammelrooy does the same for Kate as her caring mom. Dylan Walsh acquits himself amicably as Kate’s inadequate fiancé, and Lynn Collins plays Alex’s co-worker who has the hots for him. It is just too bad that the dog gets more attention from the audience.


LOWLIGHTS: The Lake House, based on a 2000 South Korean film titled “Il Mare”, is about ‘second chances’ that Fate sometimes dishes out to lovers. Think ‘Meeting Mr Congeniality on the Time Matrix’ and you will get the idea. As a time-travel story, its plot is so full of holes that you can’t even begin to piece them together. Suffice it is to say that the only thing that works here is the chemistry between the two leads, aided in no small measure by a dog named Jack.

LOWDOWN: Indeed, it is nice to see Bullock back in Reeves’ arms again. They look real comfy together but I wish they had something better in the form of script – just to sink their lips in.

WEEKEND PIC (July 14-16)

(A guide to help you plan your cinema-going)

1. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST (Fantasy adventure with Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloon and Keira Knightley) Rated * * 1/2 (out of 4): Capt Jack is back in another rollercoaster ride through dark waters. Trouble is, the ride is too long and the thrills are repeated.

2. SUPERMAN RETURNS (Fantasy adventure with Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth and Kevin Spacey) Rated * * * (out of 4): The Man of Steel is back and he is saving the world from Lex Luthor's evil and reclaiming his old flame reporter Lois.

3. JUST MY LUCK (romantic comedy with Lindsay Lohan and Chris Pine) Rated: * * 1/2 (2.5 stars): She seems to have Lady Luck guiding her wherever she goes and he seems to be a magnet for mishaps. Find out what happens when these two meet and kiss!

4. TAKE THE LEAD (ballroom dancing caper with Antonio Banderas and Rob Brown) Rated: * * 1/2 (2.5 stars): Like a modern Zorro, Banderas rides in (on bicycle) to save a bunch of hopeless students from boredom by teaching them ballroom dancing. Viva Banderas!

5. RECYCLED (Horror thriller with Lee Sin-Je and Lau Siu-Ming) Rated * * (2 stars): This horror flick by the Pang Brothers wallows too much in its ‘newfound’ special effects and forgets about the main plot.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST (adventure sequel)
Cast: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley and Bill Nighy
Director: Gore Verbinski
Time: 148 mins
Rating: * * ½ (out of 4)

WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Capt Jack (Depp) is back but before you go ‘Ho-ho-ho and a barrel of fun’ take note that this sequel is just another long-drawn ride through sea monster-infested waters. And just like taking a second trip on the Pirates Of The Caribbean park ride in Disneyland (on which this franchise is based), be prepared for an attack of déjà vu. This sequel may have twice the action and special effects but it offers only half the fun and thrills of the original.

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? Dead Man’s Chest starts off promisingly, though. Right from where the original had left off, we see Elizabeth Swann (Knightley) and Will Turner (Bloom) getting ready to be married when the nasty Lord Beckett (Tom Hollander) arrives and orders the arrest of the bridal couple. They are charged with helping a certain Jack Sparrow (Depp) to escape but this is actually a ruse by Beckett to get his hands on a magic compass belonging to Jack. This compass will lead us to a coveted key and to a chest that contains something precious to the slimy Capt Davy Jones (Bill Nighy), skipper of the legendary Flying Dutchman.

HIGHLIGHTS: The adventure takes us to a cannibal island, a voodoo witch (Naomie Harris), to battles on the high seas against Jones’ vessel and a giant octopus, and swordfights and fist-fights among all and sundry. Yeah, you get your money’s worth of action and set-pieces.

LOWLIGHTS: I would like to say that the non-stop action and plot-twists exhaust us but that would be an exaggeration. They just get boring after a while as director Verbinski drags the sequences to the max. To make matters worse, he closes the movie with a cliff-hanger. Yes, be warned that Dead Man’s Chest is shot back-to-back with another sequel (just like Matrix Reloaded) which is due in May next year. And yet another casualty of Verbinski’s ‘monster show’ and ‘action overload’ is the characterisation. Halfway through the movie, we stop caring for Jack, Turner and even Elizabeth because their roles have been reduced to almost that of cartoon characters.

THE LOWDOWN: Sure, this sequel makes us curious about the next instalment. But dare we pray that we won’t be made to walk through a similar plank of pirate fantasy clichés again?

YOUR WEEKEND PIC (July 7 - 9)

(A guide to help you plan your cinema-going)

1. SUPERMAN RETURNS (Fantasy adventure with Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth and Kevin Spacey) Rated * * * (out of 4): The Man of Steel is back and he is saving the world from Lex Luthor's evil and reclaiming his old flame reporter Lois.

2. JUST MY LUCK (romantic comedy with Lindsay Lohan and Chris Pine) Rated: * * 1/2 (2.5 stars): She seems to have Lady Luck guiding here wherever she goes and he seems to be a magnet for mishaps. Find out what happens when these two meet and kiss!

3. TAKE THE LEAD (ballroom dancing caper with Antonio Banderas and Rob Brown) Rated: * * 1/2 (2.5 stars): Like a modern Zorro, Banderas rides in (on bicycle) to save a bunch of hopeless students from boredom by teaching them ballroom dancing. Viva Banderas!

4. RECYCLED (Horror thriller with Lee Sin-Je and Lau Siu-Ming) Rated * * (2 stars): This horror flick by the Pang Brothers wallows too much in its ‘newfound’ special effects and forgets about the main plot.

5. LOVE UNDERCOVER 3 (Cantonese comedy with Fiona Sit, Hui Siu Hung and Takuya Suzuki) Rated * (1 star): The only reason for anyone to catch this inane scatterbrain comedy is for one to punish oneself.

JUST MY LUCK: Lohan's Transition Flick

JUST MY LUCK (romantic comedy)
Cast: Lindsay Lohan, Chris Pine, Somaire Armstrong and Bree Turner
Director: Donald Petrie
Time: 108 mins
Rating: * * ½ (out of 4)

WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Ashley (Lohan) leads a charmed life as everything seems to go well for her. As soon as she steps on to the kerb, the rain stops, a taxi is available and she even gets promoted to manager at work. Why, Sarah Jessica Parker’s dress is mistakenly delivered to her apartment – and it is her size as well! Jake (Pine), on the other hand, has the short end of the stick where luck is concerned. He is out to promote a boy band but nothing seems to go well for him – until he gets kissed by Ashley and has her lucky streak transferred to him. Now, the distraught Ashley must find out what happened and get her charmed life back.

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? This looks a lot like Freaky Friday (which also starred Lohan). It has the same lightweight mood and tone and should also go down well with the pre-teen crowd as the plot is spiced with music, hot chicks, cool guys, and trendy parties. And of course, with Lohan and Pine (of Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement) in the lead, this one should be just as lucky at the box-office and DVD stores.

HIGHLIGHTS: The movie features the actual British pop group McFly which Jake manages. But director Donald Petrie rightly puts the emphasis on the love story between Lohan and Pine and there is even some chemistry between them.

LOWLIGHTS: I don’t care much for the contrived 'confectionery' scripted to take Lohan from kiddie flicks to the romantic comedy genre. It is much too sugary for adults and those who expect more in terms of wit and humour.

THE LOWDOWN: Mainly for Lindsay Lohan and Chris Pine fans who are growing out of Parent Trap and Princess Diaries.

JATUH CINTA LAGI: Indon Soap

JATUH CINTA LAGI (romantic comedy, Indonesian)
Cast: Krisdayanti, Gary Iskak, Cornelia Agatha and Endhita
Director: Rizal Mantovani
Time: 95 mins
Rating: * * (out of 4)

WHAT’S IT ABOUT? He drives a flashy sports car and frequents the trendiest nightspots with the hottest chicks in town. She has had her heart broken by guys like him and her sixth sense tells her to avoid him like the plague. Yet you know what happens: They fall in love and someone gets hurt…

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? This is the predictable love story of lawyers Lila (Krisdayanti) and Andre (Gary Iskak), opposing counsels in the high-profile divorce case of dangdut singer Angelina (Cornelia Agatha) and her hubby Dr Gatot (Bayu Ario Tomo). How an intelligent and beautiful woman like Lila can fall for the flashy and callous Andre is a mystery that director Rizal Mantovani does not bother to resolve. They may say love is blind but we have to add ‘stupid’ to that, considering the way Lila succumbs to Andre’s questionable charms. And whatever happens to them later, we can't help but feel that they deserve it. Jatuh Cinta Lagi is full of shallow characters and we have no sympathy for most of them.

HIGHLIGHTS: The one feather in Rizal’s directorial cap is that he knows how to keep his scenes vibrant – by shooting in posh locales and filling them with energetic extras. In fact, some of the extras perform better than the leads. Gary Iskak, for one, overacts throughout the movie and is irritatingly unfunny, while Krisdayanti is not convincing as the caring lawyer. The only cast member who earns her salary is Endhati who plays Lila’s best friend and confidante.

LOWLIGHTS: Director Rizal seems compelled to fill every sequence with over-the-top gags and silly slapstick. Few of these work and the overall tone of the movie is not one of romantic fun but ‘contrived nonsense’. For example, Lila’s housemate Susan (Endhita) is always in masquerade costumes, even at home. And the only time it is relevant is when Lila falls in love and comes home to find Susan dressed as Cupid.

THE LOWDOWN? Too bad construction workers and domestic maids do not read this blog. They would find this movie entertaining.