WEEKEND PIC Nov 29 - Dec 2 2007

Your Guide To The Weekend Viewing:

1. ACROSS THE UNIVERSE (musical with Jim Sturgess, Evan Rachel Wood and Joe Anderson) Rated * * * 1/2 (out of 4): This love story told through Beatles' songs will take fans on a nostalgic trip to the Sixties. Don't be shy, sing along with it and have a great time (reviewed below).

2. THE KINGDOM (war thriller with Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner and Chris Cooper) Rated * * * (3 stars): Unlike "Lions For Lambs", this actioner about the FBI probing into terrorist attacks in Saudi Arabia is much more engaging. This ain't no US propaganda as it does not take sides in the War on Terror. (Reviewed below)

3. ENCHANTED (Fantasy romance with Amy Adams, James Marsden, Patrick Dempsey and Susan Sarandon) Rated * * * (3 stars): This is an account of what happens when animated fairytale clashes with reality in New York City. A fun outing for the family during the school holidays. (Reviewed below)

4. HITMAN (Actioner with Timothy Olyphant, Dougray Scott, Olga Kurylenko and Robert Knepper) Rating * * 1/2 (2.5 stars): Adapted from a video-game, this one offers the usual brainless action about a hitman called Agent 47. Keep expectations low, if you must go for it.

5. THE DRUMMER (adventure with Jaycee Chan, Tony Leung Ka Fai and Angelica Lee) Rating * * 1/2 (2.5 stars): A rather pulsating drama especially for fans of Jaycee who seems to in following the footsteps of his father Jackie Chan.

6. Mr MAGORIUM'S WONDER EMPORIUM (fantasy comedy with Dustin Hoffman, Natalie Portman and Jason Bateman) Rated * * (2 stars): For such a lavish movie, the magic and wonders are minimal. The subject matter is dreary, cliched and uninspired. (Reviewed below)

7. THE LAST BREATH (Korean horror thriller with Lee Dong-kyu, Kim Bo-kyung, Kim Tae-woo and Jin Goo) Rated: * 1/2 (1.5 stars): This effort by the Korean Jung Brothers aims to be an arty horror flick. It succeeds in its visuals but fails in the scares and story development department. (Reviewed below)

ACROSS THE UNIVERSE: Nostalgic Trip for Beatles Fans

ACROSS THE UNIVERSE (musical drama)

Cast: Jim Sturgess, Evan Rachel Wood, Joe Anderson, Martin Luther McCoy and Dana Fuchs

Director: Julie Taymor

Time: 130 mins

Rating: * * * 1/2 (out of 4)

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to... well, not Strawberry Fields, but the nostalgic era of the Sixties when Love, Peace and the music of the Beatles are spread across the universe. For those who have lived through those 'hippy' and 'groovy' times, the trip will bring home memories of a youth coloured by free love, anti-war protests, drugs and 'psychedelia'. You may even tap your feet and sing along with the music.
For the younger viewers, however, the movie will take you through a touching love story 'guided' by the songs of the Beatles. Yes, you would have heard the songs before, but not in the way they are delivered here...

WHAT'S IT ABOUT? It is the 1960s and Jude (Jim Sturgess) leaves his shipyard job and girlfriend in Liverpool, England, to travel across the Atlantic to Princeton University in search of a father he has never met. There, he befriends Max (Joe Anderson), a campus drop-out, and falls in love with his beautiful sister Lucy (Evan Rachel Wood). Soon the three share a pad in Greenwich Village with the Janis Joplin-styled Sadie (Dana Fuchs), a Jimi Hendrix-type musician named Jo-Jo (Martin Luther McCoy) and the lesbian cheerleader Prudence (T.V. Carpio).

What starts off as good times, with wild parties and musical road trips, soon turns serious when Max is drafted into the Vietnam War and our friends get caught up in the anti-war movement. Lucy's relationship with budding artist Jude is affected when the peace movement turns into a 'social revolution'. Jude is sent back to Liverpool and that's when he has to 'take a sad song, and make it better...'

HITS & MISSES: Yes, everything in the story is illustrated by a Beatles song. However, those who long for 'original' Beatles numbers are in the wrong movie. Most of them are radically altered and sung by the actors to evoke their feelings or personality. I had thought that "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" was one of the silliest ditties by the Beatles - until I hear Prudence render it as a longing for a lover she cannot have. This song now has a new meaning for me, as it would have for all who have seen this movie. Ditto that for "Let It Be", sung during scenes of riots in Detroit.
Some of the choreographed pieces have the feel of amateurish high school art class projects but director Julie Taymor can also be very inventive, like in the underwater sequences that look like ballet, a stage show that turns into musical warfare, and scenes of strawberries that bleed (to go with "Strawberry Fields").

Another clever device by the filmmakers is the use of lesser-known actors in the cast. Stars like Sturgess, Evan Rachel Wood, Carpio and Fuchs have been selected more for the vocal ability than acting - and they win our hearts every time they sing. If their character lacks proper development, this is made up for by showing their emotions (through the songs) and their reactions to the various historical milestones, like the assassination of Martin Luther King.

THE LOWDOWN: At more than two hours, "Across The Universe" can be taxing on our bottoms but it definitely helps to uplift our hearts. And most of all, it shows how incredibly versatile and universal the Beatles' songs can be to artists and creative people.

WEEKEND PIC: Nov 23 - 25 2007

Your Guide To The Weekend & School Holiday Viewing:

1. THE KINGDOM (war thriller with Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner and Chris Cooper) Rated * * * (out of 4): Unlike "Lions For Lambs", this actioner about the FBI probing into terrorist attacks in Saudi Arabia is much more engaging. This ain't no US propaganda as it does not take sides in the War on Terror. (Reviewed below)

2. ENCHANTED (On sneaks. Fantasy romance with Amy Adams, James Marsden, Patrick Dempsey and Susan Sarandon) Rated * * * (3 stars): This is an account of what happens when animated fairytale clashes with reality in New York City. A fun outing for the family during the school holidays. (Reviewed below)

3. BEOWULF (fantasy adventure with Ray Winstone, Anthony Hopkins, Robin Wright Penn and Angelina Jolie) Rated: * * * ½ (out of 4): If you were bowled over by the graphic brutality of “300”, this ‘performance-capture’ effort will do the same for you. Check out the seductive Jolie and Beowulf fighting the monster Grendel naked! (reviewed below).

4. HITMAN (Actioner with Timothy Olyphant, Dougray Scott, Olga Kurylenko and Robert Knepper) Rating * * 1/2 (2.5 stars): Adapted from a video-game, this one offers the usual brainless action about a hitman called Agent 47. Keep expectations low, if you must go for it. (pictured)

5. Mr MAGORIUM'S WONDER EMPORIUM (fantasy comedy with Dustin Hoffman, Natalie Portman and Jason Bateman) Rated * * (2 stars): For such a lavish movie, the magic and wonders are minimal. The subject matter is dreary, cliched and uninspired. (Reviewed below)

6. PENNY DREADFUL (psychological horror with Rachel Miner and Mimi Rogers) Rated * * 1/2 (2.5 stars): The situation in which a young lass, suffering from a fear of cars, is terrorised by a nasty killer, is dreadful enough. However, the plot is over-contrived. (Reviewed below)

7. THE LAST BREATH (Korean horror thriller with Lee Dong-kyu, Kim Bo-kyung, Kim Tae-woo and Jin Goo) Rated: * 1/2 (1.5 stars): This effort by the Korean Jung Brothers aims to be an arty horror flick. It succeeds but fails in the scares and story development department. (Reviewed below)

HERE'S WISHING YOU A GREAT WEEKEND and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

ENCHANTED: Fantasy Marries Reality

ENCHANTED (animated-live-action fantasy)

Cast: Amy Adams, Patrick Dempsey, James Marsden and Susan Sarandon

Director: Kevin Lima

Time: 105 mins

Rating: * * * (out of 4)

REVIEW: Once upon a time, in a land called Hollywood, there lived a bunch of people who made fairytale movies about beautiful damsels and handsome princes, evil witches and magical creatures, and silly stories that end with the young couples living happily ever after. At first, these movies worked their magic on viewers, shaping the dreams and hopes of young girls all across the world.

After a while, however, these movies lose their charm because these girls grow up and find that the Prince Charming of their dreams often turn into Nasty Nightmares and the Wicked witches are in fact their mothers-in-law! The viewers soon get tired of watching such movies, and film-makers, especially those at Disney Studios, get tired of making them.

One day, a screenwriter named Bill Kelly came up with an interesting idea: How about making a fairytale movie about a beautiful damsel named Giselle (Amy Adams), have a handsome prince fall in love with her – and then throw the two lost lovers into the Real World, particularly, a place called Manhattan?

“How are we going to cast them into Manhattan, and who is going to do it?” asked Disney’s director, Kevin Lima.

“Why, we get the wicked Queen Narissa (Susan Sarandon) to push Giselle into a magic well that drains out to Manhattan, and have the gallant Prince Edward (James Marsden) coming to look for her,” said Kelly. “We can also throw in other creatures like the Prince’s clownish chipmunk Pip and the Queen’s henchman Nathaniel (Timothy Spall) as well, just to provide the laughs and some intrigue,” said Kelly. "I'm sure Pip will steal the show as the main lure for the kids."

“How do you expect Giselle to survive in the real world? She does not know any magic tricks. Can she get by on just her beauty and charm?”

“Maybe we can let her meet a cynical divorce lawyer named Robert (Patrick Dempsey) and his little daughter Morgan (Rachel Covey) and see how they get along. Why, I will even throw in a yuppie girlfriend (Idina Menzel) for Robert and see who he falls in love with eventually!”

“Sounds good. Now, what do we have in terms of music?” asked the director.

“Maybe we can have Giselle doing a few songs about a ‘true love’s kiss’ – and have some dancing in Central Park…”

“Songs and dances sound very much like Bollywood and people hate that. That’s why we don’t make fairytale musicals anymore!”

“We can have some real-live buskers joining in the dance. Maybe we can even have mice, doves and cockroaches doing a musical number – just like the one with the Seven Dwarves. Now, that has not been done before, even in Bollywood!”

“What are you planning for the grand climactic scene? Can we have the Wicked Queen doing battle like King Kong near some famous big building?”

“Sure, we can have Narissa fighting with Robert on top of a tower and having the gutsy damsel saving him, just for a change!” said Kelly.

“Now you’re talking! What do you propose we call this movie?”

“How about 'Enchanted'?”

THE LAST BREATH: Amateurish Effort

THE LAST BREATH (Korean horror thriller)

Cast: Lee Dong-kyu, Kim Bo-kyung, Kim Tae-woo and Jin Goo

Director: Jung Brothers

Time: 103 mins

Rating: * 1/2 (out of 4)

THE BIG DEAL? "The Last Breath" (formerly known as "Epitaph") is an ambitious undertaking by the Jung Brothers of South Korea, Jung Bum-Sik and Jung Sik. Making their debut effort together, the siblings try to combine cinematic art with graphic horror in this compendium of three tales set in Anseng Hospital of the 1940s. However, while we may marvel at the film's opulently artistic style, we get frustrated by the haphazard and confusing way the stories are unravelled. To make matters worse, the subtitles appear and disappear so fast that it is impossible to read some of them. Throughout the movie, your mind would invariably wander...

WHAT'S IT ABOUT? The year is 1979 and an elderly Dr Park Jung-Nam receives a photo album from 1942, taking his mind back to those war years when he was an intern at the Anseng Hospital. Back in those days, Dr Park (Jin Goo) and his friends find themselves caught up in a series of strange incidents. Park had always dreamed of becoming an artist, not a doctor. After the death of his parents, he was brought up by the hospital's director (Ye Soo-Jeong) and betrothed to her daughter. One night, when the body of a beautiful girl is brought to the hospital morgue, Park falls in love with the dead girl, starting a 'relationship' that transcends Earthly bounds.

The second story is about teenager Asako (Ko Joo-yeon), the sole survivor of a horrific car accident that killed her mother and stepfather. When she is taken to the hospital, she is haunted by ghosts, resulting in a tragedy that also affects her caring doctor (Lee Dong-kyu). The final saga is about Dr Kim Dong-won (Kim Tae-woo) and his wife, Dr Kim In-Young (Kim Bo-kyung) who have been transferred from Tokyo. When a series of murders occur near their home, Dr Kim starts to worry about his wife's disappearances in the middle of the night.

HITS & MISSES: One of the lofty aims of the Jung Brothers, as proclaimed in their production notes, is to change the definition of the horror genre in Korea, helping it to evolve from the basic scream fest to a realm beyond curses and vindictive ghosts. However, they miss the point that audiences watch horror thrillers to get scared, not to applaud and extol the directors. In one part of the movie, a doctor has a vision of the four seasons represented by cherry blossoms, water lilies, the fallen leaves of autumn, and snow covered mountains. This is supposed to symbolise the marriage of his soul to that of his intended love, but viewers would be hard put to make that connection. The sequence is just a series of beautiful sets, period.

Of course, with the three stories being unravelled at the same time, we get the usual frights accompanied by screechy music, as well as sudden sightings of gory, bloodied faces of ghosts. However, without an engaging story, these scares lose their impact considerably. The numerous and repetitive flashbacks, nightmare sequences and recollections only add up to a messy narrative that can be infuriating at times. This is a pity, really, for the performances, camerawork and location sets are all top-notch.

THE LOWDOWN: Dare we hope that the Brothers Jung learn from this experience and improve their storytelling the next time?

THE KINGDOM: Tensed Thriller

THE KINGDOM (action thriller)

Cast: Jamie Foxx, Chris Cooper, Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner

Director: Peter Berg

Time: 105 mins

Rating: * * * (out of 4)

WHAT'S IT ABOUT? “The Kingdom” starts off with a brief lesson on US relations with Saudi Arabia from the 1930s when oil was discovered in the Arab kingdom, to the events of Sept 11 2001. Saudi Arabia, we are told, is the main exporter of oil – and America is the top consumer.

Next, we are taken to a secure community in Riyadh where foreign oil workers live with their families. This seemingly idyllic setting, of children playing softball and picnicking near the playground, is about to be turned into a war zone. Posing as local policemen, suicide bombers infiltrate the compound, shoot at the residents and blow themselves up – killing more than 100 people, including two FBI agents.

The effects of this disaster are soon felt in Washington, where FBI special agent Ronald Fleury (Jamie Foxx) prepares his forensic team for an on-site investigation. The team comprises pathologist Janet Mayes (Jennifer Garner); computer geek Adam Leavitt (Jason Bateman); and explosives expert Grant Sykes (Chris Cooper). After exercising some smart political manoeuvres, Ronald is allowed to fly to the kingdom but he must be constantly guided and guarded by Saudi police colonel Faris Al-Ghazi (Ashraf Barhom), who is more concerned about the safety of his charges than in solving the crime.

With only a few days to complete his mission, Ronald finds his job hampered by political constraints and the lack of witnesses. Are the fears for the safety of the Americans justified, or is this a ruse to thwart their investigation?

HITS & MISSES: Directed by Peter Berg, this ‘whodunit’ almost works like a ‘Rambo in Saudi Arabia’ caper, with a wishful revisionist scenario for the American response to fundamentalist terrorism. Unlike the Rambo flicks, however, the action here is rendered more intelligently and realistically, aided in no small way by the professional interactions between Ronald and Faris. After the initial mutual suspicions are overcome, Ronald begins to understand the problems of Faris’ job, and Faris, on the other hand, understands the FBI agent’s priorities.

Both “The Kingdom” and “Lions For Lambs” are written by Matthew Michael Carnahan but the former is a lot more engaging because it takes viewers right into the thick of the action instead of just talking about civic responsibilities and the ‘right of engagement’. There are also some clever touches, like showing how terrorist bombs are made, how hostages are used for propaganda purposes, and how some US politicians (like the Attorney-General, played by Danny Huston) are so out-of-touch with actual events.

However, what I like about “The Kingdom” is that it is not an anti-Muslim propaganda but an insight into the precarious political situation that the two sides find themselves in. Like in “Black Hawk Down”, there is a tensed and suspenseful shootout in which the FBI agents are trapped in a tenement block full of women, children and armed men. This climactic sequence should satisfy the demands of action fans, just as the performances of the accomplished cast complement the plot.

THE LOWDOWN: Director Berg closes the movie with a fitting food for thought: Asked what was on the minds of Ronald and a terrorist leader as they were about to confront their enemy, they both share the same sentiments. World leaders with causes should chew on them.

Mr MAGORIUM'S WONDER EMPORIUM: Mostly Tedium!

Mr MAGORIUM'S WONDER EMPORIUM (fantasy comedy)

Cast: Dustin Hoffman, Natalie Portman (pic), Jason Bateman & Zachary Mills

Director: Zach Helm

Time: 95 mins

Rating: * * (out of 4)

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? If you are looking for some really enchanting gift ideas this Christmas season, you won't find it in "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium". The 'magic' that is touted in the movie's trailer lasts for about 20 minutes during its opening sequences - and then it starts to sputter and stall.

The title is unintentionally apt because from then on, you will be in a state of 'wonder' - trying to figure out what this fantasy kiddie flick is trying to do. Then, when you arrive at the answer, you will realise that this is not the fun-and-frolic movie you had expected it to be...

WHAT'S IT ABOUT? Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium is a quaint toy store owned by a 243-year-old man (Dustin Hoffman). The store is managed by Molly Mahoney (Natalie Portman), a once promising pianist and composer who has lost her inspiration. When we meet Mr Magorium, we see him planning to 'leave the world' because he is down to his last pair of custom-made Italian shoes. For some strange reason, he wants to bequeath the store to Molly, whom we know has lost her inspiration and has even stated that she wants to quit her job.

To prepare the paperwork for this transfer of ownership, Mr Magorium hires accountant Henry Weston (Jason Bateman), who gets saddled with the 114-year-old store's nightmarish bookkeeping in order to determine its value. Molly, of course, will not allow Magorium to leave, saying she will not be able to manage it all by herself. So does nine-year-old Eric Applebaum (Zachary Mills), the emporium's most devoted customer who is considered a weirdo among his peers. Even the 'magical store' balks at the idea of Magorium's departure and throws a nasty tantrum!

HITS & MISSES: Now, what's this about Magorium's imminent departure? What's the big deal about it when doctors have given him a clean bill of health? Would you believe all this is about death - in a kiddie movie?!!Unlike writer-director Zach Helm's previous screenplay, "Stranger Than Fiction", this one loses its charm very quickly. It is probably due to its morbid theme of mortality that shrouds the proceedings in an atmosphere of gloom. Sure, there is the overriding message about having faith and believing in oneself, but it sounds rather clichéd and superficial in a movie that lacks dramatic tension and 'cool' thrills. The toys in the emporium appear like what the grandpas of today's kids used to play with. There are no electronic games like PS3 or sexy Bratz dolls - mostly balls, hoops and doll houses meant for six-year-olds. Indeed, the target crowd for this movie seems to be six to nine-year-olds and older kids may scoff at it

Hoffman has a thankless job, talking with a lisp and trying to look like an older version of Willie Wonka. Portman, who had impressed us with her performance in "V For Vendetta" and "Goya's Ghosts", looks rather lost here, and Bateman is 'just okay, man'. The only star who shines is Zachary Mills as the cute, hat-loving Eric.

THE LOWDOWN: All the best parts of "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium" are shown in its trailer. The movie is a disappointment.

WEEKEND PIC Nov 16 - 18 2007

Your Guide to the Weekend Movies

1. BEOWULF (fantasy adventure with Ray Winstone, Anthony Hopkins, Robin Wright Penn and Angelina Jolie) Rated: * * * ½ (out of 4): If you were bowled over by the graphic brutality of “300”, this ‘performance-capture’ effort will do the same for you. Check out Beowulf fighting the monster Grendel naked! (reviewed below).

2. PENNY DREADFUL (psychological horror with Rachel Miner and Mimi Rogers) Rated * * ½ (2.5 stars): The situation in which a young lass, suffering from a fear of cars, is terrorised by a nasty killer, is dreadful enough. However, the plot is over-contrived. (Reviewed below)

3. BEE MOVIE (animated comedy with voices of Jerry Seinfeld, Renee Zellweger and Chris Rock) Rated: * * 1/2 (2.5 stars): Not quite as hilarious as "Shrek" or as engaging as "The Incredibles", this is a Seinfeld comedy about a bee falling in love with a human and suing mankind for theft of honey. (Reviewed below)

4. LIONS FOR LAMBS (social drama with Robert Redford, Meryl Streep, Tom Cruise and Michael Pena) Rated * * 1/2 (out of 4): Reminiscent of the multi-layered "Babel", this Redford-directed movie is about three sets of people 'involved' in the war of terror in Afghanistan. It is slow and talky but there are some interesting insights and an abrupt ending. (reviewed below)

5. STARDUST (fantasy adventure with Claire Danes, Charlie Cox, Michele Pfeiffer & Robert De Niro) Rated * * * (out of 4): Quite like the "Chronicles Of Narnia", this one is about a young man's quest for true love. The performances of Pfeiffer and De Niro are worth the price of the ticket. (Reviewed below)

6. BALLS OF FURY (Ping-pong comedy with Dan Fogler, Maggie Q and Christopher Walken) Rated: * (1 star): Watch this derivative comedy about and FBI mission with a ping-pong tourney only if you must not miss a Maggie Q movie. (Reviewed below)

PENNY DREADFUL: It's Dreadful Enough

PENNY DREADFUL (thriller)
Cast: Rachel Miner (pic), Mimi Rogers, Liz Davies and Chad Todhunter
Director: Richard Brandes
Time: 95 mins
Rating: * * ½ (out of 4)

PREAMBLE: To begin, let me get this pun out of the way: “Penny Dreadful” is psychologically dreadful enough for more than a penny! What this means is that you will get your money’s worth of ‘Hitcher Horror’ provided you don’t put your hopes too high…

WHAT’S IT ABOUT? The prologue provides the background of our protagonist Penny Dearborn (Rachel Miner), who, as a little girl, was the sole survivor of a horrible car crash that killed both her parents. Years later, she is still in therapy for her morbid fear of cars. Her shrink, Dr Orianna Volkes (Mimi Rogers), believes that she can overcome her problem if she returns to the scene of her accident and confronts her fear. Hence the two are on a road trip to the Big Bear Camp in the mountains of Southern California.

Dreadful mistake. For as soon as night falls, Penny starts to panic. While being distracted by her patient, Orianna hits a hitchhiker and stops the car to investigate. She is happy that the hooded man is not seriously hurt and offers him a ride to the camp. That’s the least she could do under the circumstances, she thinks. Another dreadful mistake. For as soon as the women leave their passenger at the camp grounds, they start to discover what he has done to their car, which stalls in the middle of nowhere. From then on, the ‘frightmare’ begins and Orianna and Penny find out what fear really is!

HITS & MISSES: To say that the situation is over-contrived is to say the obvious. Director Richard Brandes follows the slasher-pic tradition, throwing us bits of hope (the lights at the end of the proverbial tunnel) and snuffing them out later on. Most of his plot developments are questionable but these help to enhance the fear factor that Penny has to confront while being mostly trapped in the claustrophobic BMW that may become her coffin.

Throughout the movie, we keep wondering who is this murderous culprit and what does he want? Brandes and the script writers offer some possible suspects: Is he the weird-looking gas pump attendant (Michael Berryman) who looks like he had strayed here from some horror thriller? Or is he the spurned admirer, Ben, who keeps calling Penny on the cell phone? The ending, however, does not impress us.
The film works because of its two leads. Rachel Miner (of “Black Dahlia” fame) gives a credible and memorable performance as the teenage victim who must overcome her fears to survive. Mimi Rogers offers solid support as the caring but misguided therapist. The dark, wooded location also plays a part in working up our sense of dread and the camerawork delivers the goods, playing tricks with the shadows.

THE LOWDOWN: “Penny Dreadful” is not as gory as it is advertised to be and we are thankful for that.

BEOWULF: A Seat-Gripping Ride

BEOWULF (fantasy adventure)
Cast: Ray Winstone, Crispin Glover, Anthony Hopkins, Angelina Jolie and John Malkovich
Director: Robert Zemeckis
Time: 115 mins
Rating: * * * ½ (out of 4)

(Pic: Winstone & Hopkins)
THE BIG DEAL: There is no doubt in my mind that “Beowulf” is going to rock moviegoers the way “300” and “Transformers” did recently. Director Robert Zemeckis not only combines his performance-capture techniques with the latest computer technology to turn the AD 700-era poem into a vibrant, seat-gripping piece of pop culture, he also manages to make sense of the legend of "Beowulf."

Those who had struggled with the poem, written in quaint ‘Old English’, would know how difficult it was to read, let alone understand, its Scandinavia-based story about kings, trolls and dragons. Even scholars could not comprehend the connections among its characters, dragons and damsels. Here, however, screen-writers Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary ‘connect the literary dots’ and come up with their own ‘translation’ of the tale. In this version, we get an intriguing look at the hero as a flawed human being, and delve into a story about how the sins of the father return to haunt him...

WHAT'S IT ABOUT? Beowulf (Ray Winstone) is a young warrior who emerges from a raging storm in a Viking ship to come to the rescue of Danish King Hrothgar (Anthony Hopkins) and his beautiful queen Wealthow (Robin Wright Penn). Hrothgar’s court is being terrorised by a monster named Grendel (voice of Crispin Glover) who often gatecrashes their drinking parties and kills the revellers. Beowulf promises to get rid of Grendel – and he does that in the most eye-popping way: fighting the Gollum-like monster stark naked! (Yes, while sequences like this would have been censored in live-action, they can get away with it in computer graphics imagery or CGI).

The death of Grendel incurs the wrath of Grendel’s mother (Angelina Jolie) who, after wreaking revenge on Beowulf’s men, entices our hero to her watery den where he sexually seduces him and promises him untold power and wealth. Years later, when Beowulf is an aging king, a dragon arrives to terrorise his kingdom. Now, can Beowulf play the hero again and save his people?

HITS & MISSES: One of the problems of Zemeckis’ ‘performance-capture’ device is that the facial expressions of the actors cannot be properly rendered. However, there is a neat trade-off in that the characters can be reshaped and resized to suit the action and the story. Grendel’s grotesque features, for instance, are possible because of CGI. However, the most significant ‘benefit’ is that we get to see Jolie prancing around semi-nude and with feet shaped like high-heeled stilettos. Also, the battle sequences between Beowulf and the flying dragon are so realistic and spectacular that they take our breath away.

Zemeckis offers a fine balance between style and substance (or form and function) – and even throws dollops of scandal and humour into the fray. In an encounter between the cynical courtier Unferth (John Malkovich) and Beowulf, our hero taunts Unferth with “I heard you killed your brothers because you saw them gaining knowledge of your mother!” – suggesting that he has done his ‘homework’ among the gossip-mongering circles of the Middle Ages!

And if you ever need traces of “Beowulf” to take home with you, there is the beautiful ballad called ‘A Hero Comes Home’ (written by Alanis Morrisette’s former songwriter Glen Ballard) at the closing credits. The song was sung earlier in the movie by Robin Wright.

THE LOWDOWN: Word of mouth is sure gonna propel this movie. Zemeckis has also made “Beowulf” in Imax 3D – providing another excuse to watch the movie again.

LIONS FOR LAMBS: More Talk Than Roar

LIONS FOR LAMBS (drama)
Cast: Robert Redford, Tom Cruise, Meryl Streep, Michael Pena and Derek Luke
Director: Robert Redford
Time: 94 mins
Rating: * * ½ (out of 4)

(Pic: Meryl Streep & Tom Cruise)
PREAMBLE: The term ‘Lions for Lambs’ is derived from a comment by a German officer in World War I about the bravery of British soldiers (the lions) who were sacrificed in futile attacks on deeply entrenched German troops while their commanders (the lambs) sat in the safety of their bunkers, drinking tea.

This term is referred to in this movie by college professor Dr Stephen Malley (Robert Redford) who hits out at the apathy of the American public towards the so-called ‘War on Terror’, saying: “The problem is not with the people who started this. The problem is with us, all of us, who do nothing.” Well, because of his exhortations, two of his former students, Ernest Rodriguez (Michael Pena) and Arian Finch (Derek Luke) are stranded in a fire-fight in the snowy mountains of Afghanistan – while he sits evaluating the grades of an unmotivated student named Todd Hayes (Andrew Garfield).

Written by Matthew Michael Carnahan and directed by Redford, “Lions For Lambs” tries to examine the US War on Terror the way “Babel” did for global communications. However, while “Babel” succeeds in showing the irony in modern human interactions, “Lions For Lambs” only succeeds in being an endless chatter on the American government and its people’s reaction to the war, with nothing significant in terms of conclusion. It’s all talk and very little action.

WHAT'S IT ABOUT? The movie works on three ‘fronts’ that are linked to one another. In Washington DC, Senator Jasper Irving (Tom Cruise) is engaged in an interview with veteran journo Janine Roth (Meryl Streep), telling her about a ‘new strategy’ for an end to the war in Afghanistan. After 30 years in the business, Janine knows she is being used by the Senator to sell his propaganda. Irving’s words are déjà vu to her.

“When is this strategy starting?” Janine asks.
“Ten minutes ago,” the Senator replies. He is referring to the movie’s second ‘front’ – in the mountains of Afghanistan where Rodriguez and Finch are fighting for their lives while being trapped in the snow, waiting for their rescuers.

The third ‘front’ is a university in California where Dr Malley, a Vietnam War veteran, is arguing about ‘people’s responsibility with the cynical Todd…

HITS & MISSES: To be fair, scripter Carnahan offers some interesting insights into the political situation, like the fact that its is the poor and ‘discarded’ people (like Rodriguez and Finch) who readily offer themselves as soldiers rather than the comfortable ‘middle-class’ represented by Todd. This, however, had also been explored by Michael Moore in “Fahrenheit 9/11”. Also, with little in terms of character development, we do not care for opinionated ‘talkers’ like the Senator and the professor. What sustains our interest is the ‘life-and-death’ situation involving Rodriguez and Finch. As soon as their problem is ‘resolved’, the movie starts to sputter.

THE LOWDOWN: For an anti-war film, “Lions For Lambs” recycles familiar ideas instead of finding new grounds. Come to think of it, Rodriguez and Finch are not so much the ‘lions’ of the title but ‘sacrificial lambs’. Which are what we feel like when we walk out of the cineplex after the movie’s abrupt ending.

WEEKEND PIC Nov 9 - 11 2007

Your Guide To The Weekend Viewing:

1. LIONS FOR LAMBS (social drama with Robert Redford, Meryl Streep, Tom Cruise and Michael Pena) Rated * * 1/2 (out of 4): Reminiscent of the multi-layered "Babel", this Redford-directed movie is about three sets of people 'involved' in the war of terror in Afghanistan. It is slow and talky but there are some interesting insights and an abrupt ending.

2. BEE MOVIE (animated comedy with voices of Jerry Seinfeld, Renee Zellweger and Chris Rock) Rated: * * 1/2 (2.5 stars): Not quite as hilarious as "Shrek" or as engaging as "The Incredibles", this is a Seinfeld comedy about a bee falling in love with a human and suing mankind for theft of honey. (Reviewed below)

3. STARDUST (fantasy adventure with Claire Danes, Charlie Cox, Michele Pfeiffer & Robert De Niro) Rated * * * (out of 4): Quite like the "Chronicles Of Narnia", this one is about a young man's quest for true love. The performances of Pfeiffer and De Niro are worth the price of the ticket. (Reviewed below)

4. SHOOT 'EM UP (actioner with Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti and Monica Bellucci) Rated * * * (3 stars): This is a crazy spoof of the 'bang-bang' genre, with shoot-outs and chases piling up on each other. You would never guess how many shoutout situations there are here. And like in "Children Of Men", Owen is protecting a baby again! (Reviewed below)

5. BULLET & BRAIN (actioner with Anthony Wong, Francis Ng, Alex Fong and Eric Tsang) Rated * * 1/2 (2.5 stars): A spoof on the HK gangster movies with veteran stars providing nostalgic humour in familiar roles. A see-and-forget flick. (Reviewed below)

6. 30 DAYS OF NIGHT (slasherpic with Josh Hartnett and Melissa George) Rated: * * (2 stars): The Alaskan town of Barrow is under siege by flesh-eating vampires during its 30 days of dakness. All you get is a feeling of helplessness - at the silly plot and situations. (Reviewed below)

7. BALLS OF FURY (Ping-pong comedy with Dan Fogler, Maggie Q and Christopher Walken) Rated: * (1 star): Watch this derivative comedy about and FBI mission with a ping-pong tourney only if you must not miss a Maggie Q movie. (Reviewed below)

8. EXODUS (HK crime drama with Simon Yam and Irene Wan) Rated * 1/2 (1.5 stars): Cop investigates a claim about a plot by some women to kill all the men on the planet. Is this a comedy? A spy thriller? A dream? None of the above. It's just one big bore! (Reviewed below)

BEE MOVIE: Mainly A Seinfeld Movie

BEE MOVIE (animated comedy)

Voices: Jerry Seinfeld, Renee Zellweger, Matthew Broderick and Chris Rock

Directors: Steve Hickner and Simon J. Smith

Time: 90 mins

Rating: * * 1/2 (out of 4)

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? Those who have watched 'The Seinfeld Show' on TV would recognise its familiar gags and style - after all, this movie was the brainchild of Jerry Seinfeld. He came up with the idea and the title - and tossed it to producer Steven Spielberg who took a liking to it. However, “Bee Movie” ends up ‘beeing’ too much of a Seinfeld Movie – with all his trademark jokes and buzzwords.

WHAT'S IT ABOUT? Seinfeld plays the lead character, Barry B. Benson, a young bee who has just graduated from hive school and is instantly thrust into a lifetime of labour, making honey or taking care of the hive. Stuck in a conformist and workaholic society, Barry is shocked to learn that he will not get any vacation or free time. To a rebel like Barry, this system sucks. He sneaks into a squad of pollinators, flies out of the hive, wanders through New York's Central Park, and ends up being rescued by a human florist named Vanessa (voice of Renee Zellweger).

Vanessa is startled by Barry's ability to speak English - and the two of them strike up a weird but beautiful friendship. However, their relationship is rendered taboo because, according to apian law, bees are not supposed to communicate with humans. Nevertheless, Barry is in love with the pretty florist and would not be bound by any law of Nature or logic. When Barry accompanies Vanessa to a supermarket and discovers that humans are stealing honey from bees, he decides on a very un-beelike action: he files a lawsuit against humans for theft.

HITS & MISSES: Yes, you can imagine this sort of situation in Seinfeld's stand-up routines, like, "what if the bees sue us for theft of their honey?" but in the outrageous world of family cartoons, this gag is blasé. To the kids in the audience, the trial is just ‘much abuzz about nothing’ and the third act almost goes splat! – like an insect caught on the windscreen of a speeding car.

The first half of the movie is promising, though. With so much more interplay of characters, it is visually exciting and exhilarating. One of the most funny characters here is Mooseblood the mosquito (Chris Rock) but the role turns out to be only a ‘cameo’ and it is all Seinfeld the comedian in the second half. Inside jokes concerning Sting (the singer who borrows his name from the bees) and Ray Liotta (the actor promoting jars of honey) are not going to get the laugh-out-loud reactions from viewers. Neither are the references to the Jewish gags – as in Barry’s mom asking “Is she beeish” (about Barry’s ‘girlfriend’) and getting the comforting reply, “She’s not a wasp”.

Also the screenwriters make such a big deal that, according to the law of aerodynamics, bees are not supposed to fly – while forgetting that bees have six legs and not four as depicted in the movie.

THE LOWDOWN: There are enjoyable moments in “Bee Movie”. It is just that the film-makers have squandered its potential for more by concentrating too much of Seinfeld gags. There should have been a cross-pollination of comedy ideas!

BALLS OF FURY: Tiny Balls, No Brains

BALLS OF FURY (ping-pong comedy)

Cast: Dan Fogler, Christopher Walken, George Lopez and Maggie Q

Director: Robert Ben Garant

Time: 88 mins

Rating: * (out of 4)

Pic: Lopez, Hong and Maggie Q
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? While watching this movie, two questions ran through my mind: What possessed the film-makers to produce such crap? And what infernal weed were the scriptwriters smoking when they wrote this drivel? The simple explanation would be that the screenwriters had not really written the script themselves; they must have picked up a few discarded pages each from hare-brained flicks like “D.O.A: Dead Or Alive”, “Talladega Nights” and “Blades Of Glory” and put them together for this infantile effort. Either that, or they had used chimpanzees to do the script.

WHAT'S IT ABOUT? “Balls Of Fury” is about a ping-pong prodigy called Randy Daytona (Dan Fogler) whose career in the sport is cut short by his father’s mistake at the Olympics in Seoul. Now reduced to a nightclub act in Vegas, Randy is approached by FBI agent Rodriguez (George Lopez) to help nab an evil arms dealer known as Mr Feng (Christopher Walken). The big deal is that it was Mr Feng who killed Randy’s dad, and the FBI wants Randy to get back in shape so that he can qualify for a table-tennis tournament organised by Feng and infiltrate his hideout.

Now, guess who gets to help Randy train for the big match? Yeah, it is the oriental sex-pot Maggie Q (you must have seen that one coming) who plays the niece of the blind Master Wong (James Hong), owner of a ping-pong school in Chinatown. Please suspend disbelief a little more because, horrors of horrors, we see Maggie inexplicably falling for the pudgy Randy like he is the only kwai-loh (white man) on Earth! (No, you won't ever see that coming!).

HITS & MISSES: “Balls Of Fury” turns out to be a disaster because some scenes that are supposed to be funny aren’t; and those that are not supposed to be comical, are! Also, many of these gags have been explored by Chow Sing Chi in his comedies like “Shoalin Soccer” and “Kungfu Hustle” – with much better results.Another comedy attempt that turned out to be a wet blanket is the sequence involving a male sex slave for Randy. That sequence is more cringe-inducing than funny. The same goes for Walken’s performance in this ‘walk-in, walk-out’ role for him. Heavily made-up to look like a Chinaman, the Oscar-winner takes it upon himself to ham-it-up so much that he looks utterly pathetic. We can only wonder how much he is paid to make such a fool of himself (and if it was worth it).

The one star who really deserves the salary is Maggie Q. She energises the screen with her sultry looks and kungfu stunts. Too bad, she appears out of place among such a group of bland and ornery-looking guys. Fogler is terribly miscast here. It is hard to root for such a perpetual loser and one who cannot be genuinely funny. The supporting cast, including James Hong and Brandon Lee, have a field day overacting and behaving like clowns. Problem is, nobody’s laughing.

THE LOWDOWN: To end this review, I would like to apologise to the chimps. It is not fair to associate them with such an unfunny comedy about tiny balls and no brains.

HVO: Alpha Dog, Lord Of War, The Fountain, 3:10 To Yuma, Amazing Grace and You Kill Me

ALPHA DOG (DVD 2006, action thriller)
Cast: Bruce Willis, Emile Hirsch, Justin Timberlake and Ben Foster
Director: Nick Cassavetes
Time: 120 mins
Rating: * * * (out of 4)

THIS unflinching expose on the decadent youths of suburban America will never get past the censors of Malaysia, considering its drug-trafficking and sexual content and that every other sentence has an F-word. The sordid drama is based on the life of Jesse James Hollywood (born in 1980), a drug dealer who became one of the youngest men ever to be on the FBI's most wanted list (he was caught and still on trial).

The name has been changed to Johnny Truelove (Hirsch), the titular wimp who kidnaps the younger brother (Anton Yelchin as Zack) of a debtor (Foster) to ensure repayment. Zack, however, has himself a fine time as hostage, getting to smooch with the gang molls and painting the town red. A tragic twist, however, ends Zack’s fun and wrecks the lives of everyone involved. There’s fantastic acting from the youngsters, especially Foster and Timberlake as Zack’s handler. Warning: Lots of sexual content and nudity.

THE LORD OF WAR (DVD 2006, action thriller)
Cast: Nicolas Cage, Jared Leto and Bridget Moynahan
Director: Andrew Niccol
Time: 122 mins
Rating: * * * (out of 4)

A NO-HOLDS-Barred comedy about gunrunner Yuri Orlov (Cage) and how his business is affected by the politics of the world. Yuri lives in Manhattan with former model Ava Fontaine (Moynahan), who pretends to believe him, when he says he's in the international shipping business. That business takes a turn for the better with the collapse of the Soviet Union and the sudden appearance on the black market of enormous caches of weapons. Luckily, Yuri is related to a now-retired general in Ukraine, and they do business, selling arms to conflicts in Africa.

Engaging and often eye-opening.

THE FOUNTAIN (DVD 2006, drama)
Cast: Hugh Jackman, Rachel Weisz, Ellen Burstyn, Mark Margolis
Director: Darren Aronofsky
Time: 96 mins
Rating: * *

THE movie takes place in three eras: 16th Century, the 21st Century, and the 26th Century. The main plot is in contemporary setting, where drug researcher Tommy Creo (Jackman) is trying to save his wife Izzy (Weisz), who has an inoperable brain tumour. Izzy is writing a book about a 16th Century quest for the Fountain of Youth in New Spain, with Queen Isabel (Weisz) sending a Conquistador (Jackman) to find it. Finally, we are taken to the future where a bald man (Jackman) is taking a space trip with a giant tree.

The movie reminds us of Stanley Kubrick’s “2001: A Space Odyssey” but it is over-ambitious and confusing to make an impact like Kubrick did. See it as a love story of a man’s desperation to find a cure for his wife’s illness.

AMAZING GRACE (DVD 2006, drama)
Cast: Ioan Gruffudd, Romola Garai, Rufus Sewell, Nicholas Farrell, Michael Gambon, Albert Finney
Director: Michael Apted
Time: 110 mins
Rating: * * *

SET in England in the 18th Century, “Amazing Grace” is about MP William Wilberforce’s (Ioan Gruffudd) 25-year effort to ban slavery in the UK and its colony in America. His main ‘battle field’ is the English Parliament where he leads a group of abolitionists against the pro-slavery MPs.

For a movie about politics, it tends to be a bit talky but it has very graphic and savage details about the atrocities faced by slaves in the cargo holds of ships. Also, the cast of established actors shine and Romola Garai provides tender moments as William’s wife. Mainly for those who like British epics.

3:10 TO YUMA (DVD 2007, remake of 1957 Western)
Cast: Christian Bale, Russell Crowe, Peter Fonda, Ben Foster, and Gretchen Mol
Director: James Mangold
Time: 120 mins
Rating: * * *

REMINISCENT of “High Noon”, “3:10 To Yuma” presents the old Wild West as we know it, with stagecoaches, steam trains and ramshackle towns in the middle of the desert. Rancher Dan Evans (Bale) is hired to escort captured outlaw Ben Wade (Crowe) to the station for the 3:10pm train to Yuma prison. Along the way, Dan faces a whole lot of obstacles including interference by his 14-year-old son, attacks by native Americans, a tempting offer by Wade for his release and rescue attempts by Wade’s gang, led by the sadistic Charlie (Foster).

This remake of the 1957 film (starring Glenn Ford) is basically a Bale-Crowe vehicle and the action is secondary to character development and its interplay of moral dilemmas. The ending is far-fetched but heart-rending. TRIVIA: The hero (Bale) in this Western is from Wales, UK, and the baddie’s (Crowe) from New Zealand!

YOU KILL ME (DVD 2007, black comedy)
Cast: Ben Kingsley, Tea Leoni, Luke Wilson and Dennis Farina
Director: John Dahl
Time: 92 mins
Rating: * * ½

FRANK Falenczyk (Kingsley) is in a dilemma. As a hitman for his family of Polish mobsters, he drinks to dull his conscience. However, his alcohol habit has taken its toll on him and after botching up on a crucial hit on the Irish mob in Buffalo, New York, he is sent to San Francisco to ‘sober up’.

While working as a funeral parlour assistant and grudgingly attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, Frank meets Laurel (Leoni) and that’s when the going gets cute and funny. Like when Frank opens up with “Hi, I’m Frank and I’m an alcoholic and a hitman…” Throughout the movie, you will be wondering what a woman like Laurel would find in a guy like Frank, but hey, even a killer needs to be loved! And Leoni provides just enough credibility for us to root for the two of them.

Chow Sing Chi's 'CJ7' for CNY 2008

2 November 2007 – Superstar comedian Stephen Chow Sing Chi is set to rock the box-office again with another comedy, "CJ7", which is scheduled to open on 7 Feb 2008, the start of the Chinese New Year holidays.

The movie (pictured), produced and directed by Chow, is a sci-fi fantasy comedy about a poor Chinese labourer (played by Chow himself) who learns important lessons of life when his son gets a strange new toy. The film, with a US$20 million budget (RM68 million), will rely heavily on computer-generated images. Others in the cast are Lam Chi Chung, Xu Jiao and Kitty Zhang.

The movie was originally titled 'A Hope' and 'Long River 7' before being replaced by "CJ7" - shortened from its Chinese title Chang Jiang qi hao, a reference to the Shenzhou 7 space mission to be launched next year. The film is distributed by Sony Pictures Classics in North America, while Columbia Pictures Film Production Asia has acquired its world rights outside China. "CJ7", which also was scripted by Chow, was produced through his company, Star Overseas, in association with co-producer, the China Film Group.

Sony has previously handled Chow's "Kung Fu Hustle" and has also signed a multi-picture production deal with Star Overseas last May. "Kung Fu Hustle" launched Chow into global fame, earning him numerous awards including Best Director from the Hong Kong Directors Guild; Best Film at the Golden Bauhinia Film Awards of the Hong Kong Critics Association; Best Film at the Hong Kong Film Awards, and Outstanding Film at the Asian Excellence Awards. The "Kung Fu Hustle" DVD is one of the most successful Asian titles in the western world.

WEEKEND PIC November 2 - 4 2007

Your Guide To The Weekend Viewing:

1. STARDUST (fantasy adventure with Claire Danes, Charlie Cox, Michele Pfeiffer & Robert De Niro) Rated * * * (out of 4): Quite like the "Chronicles Of Narnia", this one is about a young man's quest for true love. The performances of Pfeiffer and De Niro are worth the price of the ticket. (Reviewed below)

2. 1408 (horror thriller with John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson) Rated: * * * 1/2 (out of 4): Arguably the scariest flick of 2007 and our top pick for Halloween, this adaptation of Stephen King's short story is also intelligent - and comes with a double ending. Ya, you interprete its close. (Reviewed below)

3. SHOOT 'EM UP (actioner with Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti and Monica Bellucci, pic) Rated * * * (3 stars): This is a crazy spoof of the 'bang-bang' genre, with shoot-outs and chases piling up on each other. You would never guess how many shoutout situations there are here. And like in "Children Of Men", Owen is protecting a baby again! (Reviewed below)

4. BULLET & BRAIN (actioner with Anthony Wong, Francis Ng, Alex Fong and Eric Tsang) Rated * * 1/2 (2.5 stars): A spoof on the HK gangster movies with veteran stars providing nostalgic humour in familiar roles. A see-and-forget flick.

5. 30 DAYS OF NIGHT (slasherpic with Josh Hartnett and Melissa George) Rated: * * (2 stars): The Alaskan town of Barrow is under siege by flesh-eating vampires during its 30 days of dakness. All you get is a feeling of helplessness - at the silly plot and situations. (Reviewed below)

6. LANTAI 13 (Indon horror with Widi Mulia, Virnie Ismail, Lukman Hakim and Bella Esperance) Rated: * * (2 stars): Like "1408" and "Apartment 1303", here's another thriller about the 13th floor of a building. There are some genuine jolts here but the plot is predictable. (Reviewed below)

7. EXODUS (HK crime drama with Simon Yam and Irene Wan) Rated * 1/2 (1.5 stars): Cop investigates a claim about a plot by some women to kill all the men on the planet. Is this a comedy? A spy thriller? A dream? None of the above. It's just one big bore! (Reviewed below)

SHOOT 'EM UP: Creative gunplay

SHOOT 'EM UP (action thriller)

Cast: Clive Owen, Monica Belluci and Paul Giamatti

Director: Michael Davis

Time: 86 mins

Rating: * * * (out of 4)

PREAMBLE: Now, action fans, it’s time for some creative gunplay choreography quiz. How many shootout situations can
you think of for a relentless ‘bang-bang’ fantasy like "Shoot 'Em Up"?

Dodging bullets while delivering a baby? (check!)

Firing from under beds and tables? (that’s been done, but check!)

Shootout in the cabin of a jet-plane? (check)

Firing while flying through windows? (check)

Blasting at the baddies while abseiling down a stair well? (check)

Shooting out a soft landing while jumping from a building? (done before, but check)

Mid-air gunfight after dropping from a plane? (check!)

Picking off the enemy while having sex, with the woman in throes of orgasm? (awesome, check!)

Now, how about blasting at the baddies with a carrot in the gun's trigger-catch because your fingers are all broken? Bet you cannot imagine how it can be done, eh? Yes folks, welcome to the absurd world of "Shoot 'Em Up" and have yourself a blast! The plot, sold to the studio executives as 'John Woo's wet dream' uses bullets for brains, and bends reality so much
that it borders on depravity.

THE PLOT: As soon as we are introduced to the morose carrot-chomping Mr Smith (Clive Owen), who goes to the rescue of a pregnant woman being threatened by some hoods, the shooting starts and continues right to the end. (This opening is reportedly inspired by Chow Yun Fat's character who helps to deliver a baby in a John Woo movie). In between the illogical action
and stunts we have dollops of wry humour - like Smith stabbing the eye of a thug with a carrot and going 'Looney Tunes' with "What's up, Doc?", and a deliciously vile villain (Paul Giamatti as Mr Hertz) who gets interrupted every now and then with phone calls from his wife about his son's birthday party.
Hertz, you see, is after the orphaned newborn (it's a boy, by the way) for his bone marrow and our hero, Smith, is all out to protect the infant. For this, he seeks the aid of a lactating hooker (Monica Bellucci as Donna Quintano) to keep the baby alive. For the purposes of writer-director Michael Davis' script, a 'lactating' Bellucci would offer the eye-popping excuse to don the Wonderbra.

HITS & MISSES: It is obvious that Davis had been inspired by the style of "Sin City", especially its scenes of cityscape and tone. Anyway, with a title like "Shoot 'Em Up", viewers who complain that the movie lacks brains ought to have their minds examined. This send-up of the 'bang-bang' movie genre is played for its thrills and spills and action fans should derive 'guilty fun' out of it - just like the cast who seem to have a great time here.

THE LOWDOWN: This movie seems bound to 'explode' at the box-office and I won't be surprise if some people made a videogame out of it.