VAMPIRES SUCK - So Does The Movie

VAMPIRES SUCK (comedy spoof)
Cast: Jenn Proske, Ken Jeong, Matt Lanter, Charlie Weber, Marcelle Baer, Chris Riggi, Wanetah Walmsley, Michelle Lang and Bradley Dodds
Directors: Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer
Screenplay: Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer
Time: 80 mins
Rating: * * (out of 4)

Jenn Proske and Matt Lanter in VAMPIRES SUCK

PREAMBLE: Made by the guys who lampooned popular movies with limp efforts like Epic Movie, Date Movie, Meet The Spartans and Disaster Movie, this one takes a crack at the hugely popular Twilight sagas, Twilight and New Moon. If you have not seen these two hits, you will probably be lost in this mess of a spoof.

As I have expected, there are very few laughs to be had in this largely unfunny satire that recaps the two films.

WHAT'S IT ABOUT? It pokes fun at the triangle relationship among the Twilight heart-throbs, renamed Becca Crane (Jenn Proske), Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter) and Jacob White (Chris Riggi) in the Pacific Northwest town of Sporks.

IS IT FUNNY? Nothing to laugh out loud, but a few sniggers at some of the pop culture (or under-the-belt) references to people like the Kardashians, Lindsay Lohan, Tiger Woods and the Black Eyed Peas. Indeed, these references get to the audience more than the silly sight gags and fart jokes.

Writers-directors Friedberg and Seltzer plot the movie along the same narrative structure as the two Twilight movies, making the spoofs look tedious and more predictable than funny. The comedy lacks wit and some of the gags look like that have been recycled from the earlier movies.

However, the one thing that does not suck here is the performance of newcomer Proske who does a magnificent job of spoofing Kristen Stewart's portrayal of Bella Swan. Proske has all of Stewart's 'acting schtick' down pat - her blinking, pouting and blank reactions. Well, at least we share Becca's dilemma - a boyfriend who wouldn't want to have sex with her and the other who would rather chase cats!

THE LOWDOWN: Only if you don't mind that the comedy sucks.