THE DEPARTED: Scorsese's Scorcher

THE DEPARTED (crime thriller)
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson and Mark Wahlberg
Director: Martin Scorsese
Time: 148 mins
Rating: * * * (out of 4)

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? Those who have seen the 2002 Hong Kong 'cat-and-mole' epic may get a sense of deja vu watching this Hollywood remake of Infernal Affairs. But despite setting the action in Boston (instead of Hong Kong), director Martin Scorsese and scripter William Monahan remain faithful to the original Infernal Affairs plot by Alan Mak Siu Fai and Felix Chong. The Departed, about the tussle between Boston police and the Irish mob led by Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson), is just as gritty and violent as the original. The one irritant viewers may find about the movie is the lame Malaysian censorship attempt which sometimes leaves the 'F-words' intact while deleting the innocent phrases.

WHAT’S IT ABOUT? The story is about two police recruits, Colin Sullivan (Matt Damon) and Billy Costigan (Leonardo DiCaprio), who both start out their lives among Boston's Irish-American community which is 'ruled' by mobster Costello. Always planning ahead, Costello has taken Sullivan under his wing since he was a boy (by buying him a bag of groceries). Sullivan is 'enrolled' in the police academy so that he can be Costello's 'mole' in the police force. Costigan, on the other hand, is more of a rabble-rouser who wants to escape the criminal life he has been linked to. Ironically, after graduating as a cop, he is hand-picked by his bosses (Martin Sheen and Mark Wahlberg) to infiltrate Costello's set-up so that the police can get enough information to nail the kingpin.
The tension and suspense in this high-stakes game begin when both Sullivan and Costigan realise that there is a mole in the other's organisation and each is assigned to flush him out. There is also a romantic touch here with both Sullivan and Costigan involved with psychiatrist Dr Madolyn (Vera Farmiga in the Kelly Chen role) – without the other being the wiser.
This pot-boiler comes full steam in almost the same way as the Hong Kong version – making us wonder if Scorsese, or other Hollywood moguls, would also do a remake of “Infernal Affairs 2”, the prequel.

HIGHLIGHTS: Now, maybe it is because I am more accustomed to movies in English than Cantonese but The Departed is definitely more of a seat-gripper than Infernal Affairs. While the Hong Kong version had its top stars like Andy Lau and Tony Leung Chiu Wai in the lead, they could not garner as much audience sympathy as DiCaprio and Damon do here. We root for both of them, especially in their 'secret' affair with Dr Madolyn.
And then there is Nicholson who is deliciously maniacal as Costello (we expect no less of him). Wahlberg's foul-mouth Sgt Dignam has only a few scenes but he manages to heat up the screen whenever he appears. Famiga provides the tender sequences if only to remind us that the players are human and in need of affection. (In the HK version, Kelly Chen had been rather 'distracting' as Dr Lee).

LOWLIGHTS: Some of the action sequences are disconcertingly brutal. Scorsese has no qualms about splattering blood all over the screen and this can be a put-off. Plus, the movie is long-drawn and could have been cut down to just over two hours.

THE LOWDOWN: As usual, Scorsese uses some familiar tunes on the soundtrack to 'colour' his palate, most notably the Rolling Stone's Gimme Shelter and Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb. Yes, The Departed marks a welcome return of a director known for making waves in the cinema. And this is definitely also one of his best efforts.

WEEKEND PIC Oct 27 - 29

(A guide to help you plan your cinema-going)

1. OPERATION UNDERCOVER (HK cop-and-gangster thriller with Eric Tsang, Francis Ng and Jordan Chan) Rated * * * (out of 4): This one is somewhat like Infernal Affairs without the gore and violence. Still, it is an engaging movie about a battle of wits between HK police and the triads.

2. OPEN SEASON (Animated feature with the talents of Martin Lawrence and Ashton Kutcher) Rated * * * (3 stars): This debut animation by Sony Pictures is up to par with those from the other studios. The story, about a rebellion of wild animals against hunters, should be great holiday entertainment for the family.

3. DON (Hindi drama with Shahrukh Khan and Priyanka Chopra) Rated * * * (3 stars): Hey, it is Deepavali season and what better way to get in the mood than grooving to Shahrukh and company in a typical dance-and-melodrama treat?

4. THE GRUDGE 2 (Horror thriller with Sarah Michelle Gellar and Amber Tamblyn) Rated * * ½ (2.5 stars): The long-haired, pale faced child ghost is back to create more havoc with this sequel about the return to the haunted house.

5. RAIN DOGS (Local Indie drama about the rites of passage of a youth) Rated * * (2 stars): Ho Yuhang’s coming-of-age drama has some interesting scenes of Malaysian life. But it also has lots of pointless sequences that really test our patience.

NOTE: This blogger will be on vacation in the US from Nov 1 to Dec 4. However, reviews will be posted here intermittently. Please stay in touch and Happy Viewing At The Cinemas!

OPERATION UNDERCOVER: Intelligent Gangsta Flick

OPERATION UNDERCOVER (cop drama)
Cast: Eric Tsang, Francis Ng, Jordon Chan, Julian Cheung, Shawn Yue and Sonja Kwok
Director: Marco Mak
Time: 95 mins
Rating: * * * (out of 4)

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? A title like Operation Undercover conjures memories of Hong Kong triad thrillers like the Infernal Affairs and Election series. Granted that the plot is somewhat similar to the previous undercover cop flicks, this one is more 'middle-of-the-road' in its approach. Unlike the gritty and gruesome Infernal Affairs stories, Operation Undercover (or “Wu Ho”) treats cops and gangsters like everyday people, providing insights into their family and romantic lives – and of course, the lengths they go to outwit each other.

WHAT’S IT ABOUT? When the movie opens, we see how the triads of Hong Kong have become so pervasive and powerful that they even dare to abuse the police. To counter this threat, Police Superintendent Wai (Miu Kiu Wai) launches Operation Crouching Tiger, dispatching 1,000 undercover cops to infiltrate the triads led by a seemingly retired mob boss.
Two years later, the effects of this operation are being felt. The mob's lieutenants, Jim (Eric Tsang), Walter (Francis Ng), Tommy (Chi-Lam) and Fei (Jordan Chan) get busy flushing out the moles in their organisation and the murder of one particular agent named Eric sends shockwaves to Wai. This sets off a battle of wits between Wai and the mobsters to bring the other down.
“If someone breaks the law but nobody knows about it, then it is like the crime never happened,” Jim tells Wai. However, Jim is aware of Wai's past as an undercover agent and he has managed to dig up a dark secret in Wai's past. And he is using it as a trump card...

HIGHLIGHTS: Operation Undercover is an intelligent movie about the cat-and-mouse games that the cops and gangsters play each day. All the main characters are properly developed with subplots about their families and love lives. Fei, for example, is a doting husband despite his tough and street-smart demeanour, and the chink in Walter's armour is his love for his only son, a gifted violin student. However, the most touching subplot is the one about Jim's relationship with a pretty decorator (Sonja Kwok) whom he has fallen in love with. In his romantic trysts with his new-found love, Jim lets his guard down and...
Directed by Marco Mak, Operation Undercover is not peppered with the usual fight sequences that such movies have every few minutes of their footage. Instead, the thrills and tension lie in the game of one-upmanship that the gang leaders play against each other to gain territory and power. And some of these can be intriguing even to those who are familiar with such movies.
Mak is fortunate to have an experienced cast who are veterans in such roles. Eric Tsang, Francis Ng and Jordan Chan sail through their roles smoothly, getting both our sympathy and admiration. Julian Cheung and Shawn Yue support credibly as the younger additions to the cops-and-triads genre while Sonja Kwok manages to steal a few scenes too. A pounding music soundtrack helps to heighten the suspense, and yes, there is a nice delicious twist at the end, in case you are wondering.

LOWLIGHTS: The lack of action sequences may be a put-off to some action fans, but on the whole, they should be satisfied with the gripping narrative.

THE LOWDOWN: Operation Undercover is not just another addition to the already crowded list in the genre. It complements the list.

SILK: A Case of 'Rojak Horror"

SILK (psychological thriller)
Cast: Chang Chen, Eguchi Yosuke, Karena Lam, Barbie Hsu and Berlin Chen
Director: Su Chao-pin
Time: 128 mins
Rating: * 1/2 (out of 4)

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? With a tale about crippled scientist Hashimoto (Yosuke Eguchi) capturing a ghost with his anti-gravity invention called the Menger Sponge, you would think that Silk is another “Ghostbuster” caper with a few scares thrown in. However, instead of scares, all we get are a lot of mumbo-jumbo about spiritual energy, microwave frequency, parental love and a gossamer-like thread of Silk that is supposed to link all these things together.
And halfway into the movie, you would realise that Silk is just another Asian production jumping on the bandwagon of successful Asian horrors like Ringu, The Grudge and The Eye. Nothing makes sense in this fuzzily-written psychological thriller which is reportedly the most expensive (US$6.2 million) movie ever made in Taiwan.

WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Things start falling apart early when Ye Chi-tung (Chang Chen), a local police sharp-shooter, is called in by Hashimoto to probe into the background of the captured ghost of a boy (Chen Kuan-po). Besides being able to speak Japanese, the cop can also lip-read, which comes in handy in translating the mumblings of the little ghost they had trapped in a dilapidated Taipei apartment. Who was the young boy and how did he die? Why is his spirit still lurking around?
Sure, our cop hero finds the answers to these soon enough but apparently this is not enough for writer-director Su Chao-pin who is intent on endowing his movie with subplots and 'narrative depth'. Somehow, one of the subplots seems promising, though. This concerns Hashimoto's assistant Su Yuen (Barbie Su) who resents having Ye as the hired snoop. She also has the hots for Hashimoto. What has she got against the cop? Does she have an agenda of her own?

LOWLIGHTS: Alas, Su Yuen is quickly disposed of in one of the movie's scariest sequences and what we have left are a bunch of irrelevant subplots and themes. One of these concerns Ye's mother, who is critically ill in hospital; another involves the dead boy's mother, a psychotic. There is a romantic angle, involving Ye's girlfriend Wei (HK star Karena Lam) but it is largely undeveloped. Lam, the most watchable of the cast, is simply wasted here.
It would have helped if the audience is made to feel for some of the characters but we get nothing of the sort. Hashimoto and Ye are portrayed as soul-less guys who do not even care about their own lives. And the story of the boy-ghost is so trite that it is a forgettable. What irritates us most is Su's self-indulgence with his inane story, dragging the footage to almost two hours when the plot has run out of steam 30 minutes earlier.

HIGHLIGHTS: We have no complaints with the technical aspects of the film, provided by a team from Hong Kong. The photography (by Arthur Wong) is up to par and the music (Peter Kam's) enhances the atmosphere.

THE LOWDOWN: Film-maker Su got the attention of Taiwan movie-goers with his comedy Better Than Sex in 2002. He should have stuck to comedies instead of trying to con viewers with such 'rojak horror' that mixes science with supernatural cliches and mundane human problems.

WEEKEND PIC Oct 20 - 22

(A guide to help you plan your cinema-going)


1. OPEN SEASON (Animated feature with the talents of Martin Lawrence and Ashton Kutcher) Rated * * * (out of 4): This debut animation by Sony Pictures is up to par with those from the other studios. The story, about a rebellion of wild animals against hunters, should be great holiday entertainment for the family.

2. DON (Hindi drama with Shahrukh Khan and Priyanka Chopra) Rated * * * (3 stars): Hey, it is Deepavali season and what better way to get in the mood than grooving to Shahrukh and company in a typical dance-and-melodrama treat?

3. JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE (Teen comedy with Jesse Metcalf and Brittany Snow) Rated * * 1/2 (2.5 stars): Another by-the-book teen-com about how some girls gang up against the three-timing high school hunk. Basically, a date movie.

4. THE GRUDGE 2 (Horror thriller with Sarah Michelle Gellar and Amber Tamblyn) Rated * * ½ (2.5 stars): The long-haired, pale faced child ghost is back to create more havoc with this sequel about the return to the haunted house.

5. SILK (Taiwan-made psychological thriller with Japanese and HK stars) Rated * 1/2 (1.5 stars): Inane and overdrawn thriller about a team of scientists who trap a boy ghost for study. Not even scary.

6. LOVE STORY (arthouse drama directed by Kelvin Tong of Singapore) Rated: * ½ (1.5 stars): This is about a pulp romance writer who stalks a library for women and inspiration. It is arty-farty stuff which is more farty than arty. (GSC International Screens)

RAIN DOGS: Ho...Hum...

RAIN DOGS (Malaysian drama in Cantonese)
Cast: Kuan Choon Wai, Liu Wai Hung, Yasmin Ahmad, Pete Teo, Chua Thien See and Lee Yoke Lan
Director: Ho Yuhang
Time: 90 mins
Rating: * * (out of 4)

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? Like many local Indie films of today, Rain Dogs requires lots of patience and indulgence on the part of the audience. Camera-work is sluggish, the narrative meanders at a lethargic and sometimes irritating pace, and we have to tolerate a whole lot of irrelevant and pointless sequences, shot ostensibly to beef up the footage.
Indeed, to the foreigners, Ho Yuhang's coming-of-age drama may offer insights into a youth's angst in a multi-cultural Malaysian context. It captures scenes and sights that foreign eyes may find fascinating. This may explain the many accolades heaped upon Rain Dogs at the international film festivals abroad. However, if you are a local, you would soon realise that what is happening on-screen is just what is happening outside our window: scenes of life in Malaysia.

WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Rain Dogs is the story of 19-year-old Tung (Kuan Choon Wai), a youth from an unidentified village in Malaysia, who journeys to Kuala Lumpur to visit his elder brother Hong (Cheung Wing Hong). This turns out to be some sort of 'baptism of fire' for our protagonist as he is robbed right smack in his cheap hotel room; sees his brother getting involved with thugs working for a bookie, and is duly sent home by bus a few days later.
More 'dark clouds' and 'rain' follow: Tung gets news of Hong's death in a snooker-room brawl; he is presented with a chance for revenge by his brother's buddies; and, back home, he has to wrestle with his mother's (Lee Yoke Lan) affair with a deadbeat boyfriend. Now, the dispassionate Tung is more of a spectator than a doer. His only passion in life is fishing. Faced with such problems, Tung does what he does best: Escape. He runs off to his uncle's (Hong Kong drama star Liu Wai Hung) place where his loving aunt (Yasmin Ahmad, speaking awkward Cantonese) dotes on their primary school son. Here, Tung gets a chance for a 'romantic interlude' with two pretty sisters (which he does nothing about) and another 'baptism of fire' involving a gun.

HIGHLIGHTS: Oh yes, parts of the movie play to the strains of Odetta's Sometimes I Feel Like A Motherless Child which helps to set the mood of Tung's family background, except that Tung is fatherless, instead of motherless.

LOWLIGHTS: Halfway through, we would have had enough of the passive Tung who seems unable to make any headway with anyone or anything in his life. Worse, the movie gets even more restless and intolerable as director Ho Yuhang throws in scenes of fireworks, kite-flying and a snake scare which are totally irrelevant to the plot.
Rain Dogs, shot in HD (high-definition) format and converted to 35mm, is largely humourless and drab. Kuan is so disaffecting and wooden that his Tung gets no sympathy from us. Others, like Yasmin and Liu, are a godsend, bringing comic and dramatic relief to scenes largely dominated by Kuan.

THE LOWDOWN: Ho ends the movie with a shot of a rainbow – the Biblical promise of a new beginning. Now, dare we hope...?

Rain Dogs opens at selected cinemas on Oct 26.

YOUR WEEKEND PIC (Oct 13-15)

(A guide to help you plan your cinema-going)

1. WORLD TRADE CENTER (Oliver Stone’s 9/11 docudrama with Nicolas Cage and Michael Pena) Rated * * * (out of 4): A heart-rending account of the rescue of two NY Port Authority cops from the rubble of the Twin Towers.

2. THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA (comedy with Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway) Rated * * * (3 stars): Just watching Streep as the Cruella De Vil of the fashion world is worth the price of the ticket to this witty, biting satire. A delight for most women.

3. ROB-B-HOOD (Cantonese comedy with Jackie Chan, Louis Koo and Michael Hui) Rated * * * (3 stars): Jackie takes a change as a hood who kidnapes a baby and gets a attack of conscience. Typical Jackie flick with emotions added.

3. TALLADEGA NIGHTS (Racing comedy with Will Farrell and John C. Reilly) Rated * * (2 stars): A typical Saturday Night Live-styled comedy about the ups and downs of a Nascar driver named Ricky Bobby. Only if you like inane jokes.

4. SILK (Taiwan-made psychological thriller with Japanese and HK stars) Rated * 1/2 (1.5 stars): Inane and overdrawn thriller about a team of scientists who trap a boy ghost for study. Not even scary.

5. LOVE STORY (arthouse drama directed by Kelvin Tong of Singapore) Rated: * ½ (1.5 stars): This is about a pulp romance writer who stalks a library for women and inspiration. It is arty-farty stuff which is more farty than arty. (GSC International Screens)

WORLD TRADE CENTER: Reliving 9/11

WORLD TRADE CENTER (docudrama)
Cast: Nicolas Cage, Michael Pena, Maria Bello, Maggie Gylenhaal and Stephen Dorff
Director: Oliver Stone
Time: 125 mins
Rating: * * * (out of 4)

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? After all that publicity, you should know by now that Oliver Stone's World Trade Center is about the dramatic, gut-wrenching rescue of two cops of the New York Port Authority at the time when America was shaken to its core. When we watched the Breaking News on that fateful Sept 11 2001, we kept telling ourselves that it was not a movie… that the events were real. Now, as we watch World Trade Center, we keep reminding ourselves that this is just a movie. That the event is over... Such is the impact we get from this docudrama that takes us back to 'Ground Zero' where some people experienced Hell on Earth.

WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Stone opens the story with shots of 'old Manhattan' – the area where the Twin Towers stood as proud landmarks of the city. Next, we follow John McLoughlin (Nicolas Cage) and Will Jimeno (Michael Pena) to work at the Port Authority police station on what seems like a normal, routine day. Then their world 'shakes' and when they learn -- with disbelief -- that Tower One of the World Trade Center has been hit by a plane, McLoughlin and his men head straight to the disaster area to evacuate the buildings. On the way, they get news that Tower Two has also been hit but they have doubts over the authenticity of the reports.

HIGHLIGHTS: Now, while we already know what has happened and what will happen, scenes of the collapse of the Towers still horrify us, especially when we 'accompany' McLoughlin and Jimeno as they are trapped in the rubble, under all those smoke and dust, talking to each other, offering hope and prayers, and urging each other not to fall asleep. We share their confusion, their pain and their determination to survive in a situation that seems as bleak as hell. Yes, it is claustrophobic and stifling but Stone does not just leave us there.
Stone alternates the claustrophobia with scenes of McLoughlin's and Jimeno's families, waiting anxiously for news of their survival. As the two trapped cops 'chat' about their loved ones, we see how McLoughlin's wife Donna (Maria Bello) and her four children cope with their fears. We also see Jimeno's pregnant wife Allison (Maggie Gylenhaal) fighting morning sickness and how her family rally to render support. Elsewhere, America is also coming to grips with the tragedy and a subplot, about David Karnes (Michael Shannon), an ex-Marine who flies from Connecticut to Ground Zero to help in the search and rescue, galvanises the fact that sometimes tragedy can turn ordinary people into heroes.
“Can you still see the light?” McLoughlin asks Jimeno when the cameras return to the rubble. By now, the two victims are semi-conscious and Jimeno's visions of Jesus Christ stir up doubts and superstition in the audience. Yes, we know they are going to make it but we still empathise with them during those long hours of doubt.
We must understand that the principal cast have added pressure to their roles since they must be both truthful and sympathetic to their real-life alter egos. On the whole, they seem to have accomplished that. Cage is effective as the 'Sarge' who confesses that people don't like him because “I don't smile a lot”. Pena plays a loving husband, father and cop that anyone should be proud of.

LOWLIGHTS: The scenes can be rather claustrophobic and depressing. So those who dislike tight spaces, take note.

THE LOWDOWN: World Trade Center and United 93 are two movies that take us back to the dramas of 9/11. Both are heart-rending and compelling.

YOUR WEEKEND PIC Oct 6 - 8

(A guide to help you plan your cinema-going)

1. THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA (comedy with Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway) Rated * * * (out of 4): Just watching Streep as the Cruella De Vil of the fashion world is worth the price of the ticket to this witty, biting satire. A delight for most women.

2. ROB-B-HOOD (Cantonese comedy with Jackie Chan, Louis Koo and Michael Hui) Rated * * * (3 stars): Jackie takes a change of role as a hood who kidnaps a baby and gets a attack of conscience. Typical Jackie flick with emotions added.

3. TALLADEGA NIGHTS (Racing comedy with Will Farrell and John C. Reilly) Rated * * (2 stars): A typical Saturday Night Live-styled comedy about the ups and downs of a Nascar driver named Ricky Bobby. Only if you like inane jokes.

4. ZOOM (Kiddie superhero caper with Tim Allen and Courteny Cox) Rated * * (2 stars): After watching The Incredibles and Sky High, you will be disgusted by this lackluster rip-off about four gifted kids trained to be superheroes.

5. LOVE STORY (arthouse drama directed by Kelvin Tong of Singapore) Rated: * ½ (1.5 stars): This is about a pulp romance writer who stalks a library for women and inspiration. It is arty-farty stuff which is more farty than arty. (At GSC International Screens)

TALLADEGA NIGHTS: Typical Will Farrell Schtick

TALLADEGA NIGHTS (racing comedy)
Cast: Will Farrell, John C. Reilly, Leslie Bibb, Amy Adams and Michael Clarke Duncan
Director: Adam McKay
Time: 95 mins
Rating: * * (out of 4)


WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? Just like NASCAR racing, Talladega Nights is a typical and stereotyped American comedy. And when we say 'typical American comedy', we mean that it 'glorifies stupidity' rather than satirise or spoof its intended subject. The intended subject is, of course, the American pastime of stock car racing which has become the second most popular professional sport in the US in terms of TV ratings – after the National Football League. Now, if American Pie was a spoof on US college kids, dare we consider Talladega Nights a spoof on the National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing (NASCAR)? Do we see stabs at race sponsorships, at its overzealous fans and America's obsession with fast cars?
Apparently not. Scripters Will Farrell and Adam McKay (who also directs) use the proverbial kid's gloves in their parody of NASCAR. They seem afraid of offending its huge fan base who are the movie's potential audience. Instead, the gags (a few hits but mostly misses) are aimed at its cast of unrealistic and overly clownish characters.

WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Farrell is Ricky Bodoh, oops, Ricky Bobby, a speed freak who believes that 'if you're not first, you're last'. This credo helps Ricky and his partner Cal Naughton Jr (John C. Reilly) to win many races and product endorsements – as well as a sexy wife (Leslie Bibb) for Ricky. However, their luck runs out when a French F1 driver (Sacha Baron Cohen as Jean Girard) enters the fray. A nasty crash puts an end to Ricky's racing days – and he ends up going back to Momma (Jane Lynch) and Papa (Gary Cole). Now, Papa is a former race driver as well and he soon puts Ricky back on track, a'la Pat Morita in Karate Kid. I wouldn't say that the climactic race at the end is predictable, since the writers have gone all out for an unconventional ending. Let's just say that it is an utterly ridiculous one that could only have come from Saturday Night Live, Farrell's showbiz alma mater.

HIGHLIGHTS: If you have seen the trailer of this movie, you would have seen most of the film's better gags. Those that remain are the usual Farrell farces and some tasteless gay gags which our censors have taken out.

LOWLIGHTS: Yes, Talladega Nights seems to mark the saturation point of Farrell's comedic abilities. After Old School, Elf, and Anchorman, Farrell seems to have run out of steam and is resorting to recycled jokes. Why, he is even upstaged by the relatively-unknown Amy Adams (as the mousy Susan) whose pep-talk sequence in a restaurant reminds us of Meg Ryan's famous orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally. Gary Cole is way over-the-top here while Michael Clarke Duncan is a welcome sight as the leader of Ricky's pit crew. (Also, watch out for director McKay in a cameo as the slovenly race driver at the start of the movie).

THE LOWDOWN: Talladega Nights need not mean 'good night' to Farrell's comedy career. He just needs to reinvent himself and find better material to work on, just as Ricky Bobby has done.

LOVE STORY: More Farty Than Arty

LOVE STORY (arthouse drama in Mandarin)
Cast: Allen Lin Yi-Lun, Evelyn Tan, Erica Lee, Tracy Tan and Amanda Ling
Director: Kelvin Tong
Time: 93 mins
Rating: * 1/2 (out of 4)

WHAT’S IT ABOUT? The protagonist is Jiang Qin (Allen Lin), a morose Singaporean writer who stakes out the local library for women and inspiration for his pulp romance novels. His encounters with each woman (his Muse) are told in episodes that are often blurred between real-life and fantasy. This device is fine with me, except that the characters are all two-dimensional and fake, and the situations too ridiculous to be believed. To make matters worse, every one of the writer's Muses faces a horrific end in the books which Jiang Qin likens to the Greek tragedy, Orpheus and Eurydice.
Take the first, a ninja-clad woman (Tracy Tan) for instance. This theatre usherette has her mouth covered with a black cloth, mumbling words that she is trying to memorise from a banned book. Ask her something and she writes the answer on a chalk board! Where the hell did she come from? A Kelvin Tong manga fantasy?
Next, we meet a pretty policewoman (Erica Lee) who seems to have come from nowhere to throw herself at our 'hero', hand-cuffing him to the bed while they try to have sex. She has some of the dumbest lines which are only 'supposed' to be funny. Is she derived from a Kelvin Tong sex fantasy?
The next two female targets are more down-to-earth. They are a librarian (Evelyn Tan) who opts for a 'mundane and lasting' relationship, and a punk rock chick (Amanda Ling) who takes our writer down another dangerous road.

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? There is nary a hint of romance or any real emotion in this “Love Story” by Singapore's film critic-turned-film-maker Kelvin Tong. What we have is an arty-farty movie that is more farty than arty. “Love Story” taxes the patience and intellect of even the most ardent movie-goer, except those who profess (read: pretend) to see subtexts and ideas that are barely comprehensible.

HIGHLIGHTS: The scenes are accompanied by a piano score that helps to set the mood for each episode, not unlike Wong Kar Wai's In The Mood For Love that some of Tong's sequences remind us of.

LOWLIGHTS: None of the women in the cast has any charisma or appeal to the audience and the only sequences that has any link to real-life are those of Jiang Qin's meetings with his publisher. Allen Lin's character is infuriating to watch and we have no sympathy for him. Benjamin Heng, who played the lead in Tong's first feature, “Eating Air”, has multiple cameo roles here, as janitor, terrorist, et al.

THE LOWDOWN: Tong's movies, Moveable Feast, Eating Air and The Maid, have won awards and acclaim. But he should not take it as a licence to bore us with such pretentious, pseudo-intellectual stuff like Love Story.

ZOOM: Derivative Superhero Caper

ZOOM (superhero comedy)
Cast: Tim Allen, Courteny Cox, Chevy Chase, Spencer Breslin, Kate Mara and Kevin Zegers
Director: Peter Hewitt
Time: 103 mins
Rating: * * (out of 4)

WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Jack Shepard, a.k.a. Captain Zoom (Tim Allen of TV's Home Improvement), is a washed-up former superhero whose glory days are 30 years behind him. When his super nemesis, Concussion (Kevin Zegers) is about to return from exile in another dimension, the government, led by scientist Marsha Halloway (Courteny Cox), her supervisor Dr Grant (Chevy Chase) and General Larraby (Rip Torn) lure him back from retirement so that he can train four reluctant young recruits to take up the fight against Concussion. The carrot used is a US$500,000 pay cheque.
The trainees are Cindy Collins (Ryan Newman) who is phenomenally strong; preteen Tucker Williams (Spencer Breslin) who can inflate parts of his body; hippy teenager Dylan West (Michael Cassidy) who can turn invisible; and the pretty Summer Jones (Kate Mara) who is telekinetic. Of course they all get off to a rocky start, and of course they all become a close-knit family just in time to carry out their mission.

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? If you liked movies about young superheroes and their families, like The Incredibles, Sky High and The Fantastic Four, you are going to be disgusted with “Zoom”. This superkids fantasy, adapted from the novel, Zoom's Academy, by Jason Lethcoe, will give you a deja vu nightmare as it recreates ideas and gags from these films and fouls them up miserably. What makes this outing even worse is that it pretends to be earnest in unravelling a plot that even a 12-year-old child can predict one or two steps ahead.

HIGHLIGHTS: Try as I may, I cannot find anything nice to say for this derivative outing.

LOWLIGHTS: Halfway through the movie, you would probably have ceased to care about the movie because nothing seems to work here. The special effects are lacklustre; the gags are lame and mostly slapstick; and the lines are banal. Why, it is almost painful to watch Chase and Cox trying to be funny, mouthing those infantile lines.

THE LOWDOWN: “Zoom” is directed by Peter Hewitt, the guy who helmed “Garfield The Movie”. Somebody ought to tell Hewitt that the kids of today are a lot more sophisticated in their tastes than those of yesteryear at which he has obviously misdirected this comedy. Also, he needs to brush up on his knowledge of comic book heroes (has he seen The Incredibles?). None of his character has any depth, and the animated Garfield seems to be a lot more interesting and realistic than the human ones here.